Prom Dress Blues
by Shinigamiaa
Summary: ALL HUMAN! Bella's having a hard time: a hateful ex-friend, parents on the edge of divorce, and an alcoholic ex-boyfriend. When Edward shows up, he seems to be her savior. But can she handle his past? Rated M for adult language, violence, and lemons.
1. Painful Memories

**Hey, everyone! Yeah, so I got tired of writing my last story (don't worry I'll finish it) and decided to go a different route. Hope y'all like it! Please, please comment!**

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"What do you think you're _do_ing?!"

I looked up to see Tyler attempting to climb the flagpole outside of the Forks High School cafeteria. I shook my head. Boys. As if they needed any more of an excuse for their actions. They were stupid, and I'm not just talking about Tyler. Every single boy in my senior class, possibly in the entire school, was stupid. They liked to laugh at things that really weren't that funny, like someone accidentally sitting in mashed potatoes or whoopee cushions or...climbing flagpoles in the freezing cold. It just didn't make any sense to me. If I knew things were going to be like this before I moved here, I may have just stayed in Phoenix with the sun, shunning the snow and stupidity.

"Get _down_ from there before you fall and break your back." Angela screamed at him, "I'm not kidding! Who do you think is going to take you to the hospital because it wont be me!"

I felt bad for Angela. Poor girl had to put up with a boyfriend who thought he was still five years old. I wonder how long their relationship will last. Angela and Tyler really weren't paired well for each other. For one, Angela was so sweet. She was my first friend when I moved here to Forks. She was understanding and saw right through me every time I lied or faked emotions. But she never forced me to talk to her and she didn't feel the need to talk relentlessly either. Not like Jessica, that annoying blabber-mouth. I loved Jessica, but her problems were getting to be too much to handle. Maybe I would get Angela a leash for Tyler. He needed one.

"Fine!" Tyler rolled his eyes, obviously annoyed as he slid down the pole to the solid ground, "Geez! Happy now?"

The bell rang, informing everyone that lunch was about to end. The halls were congested with teenagers and their hormones. What was the point of PDA rules when no one followed or reinforced them? I guess it doesn't really matter. Christmas break got everyone in a good mood, even the teachers. But I think the only reason for their happiness was because they got those few weeks off to go torture small animals. It gave them something new to do besides torturing us.

"Bella!"

I turned in mid-step to see who called me. Of course, it was Jess. I sighed and kept walking to class. Every time she caught sight of me, she felt the need to prattle on about something. Now, more than any other time, I really did not want to talk to her.

"Wait up!" She called as she ran up to my side, "How are you doing?" She asked carefully.

One thing I hate is when people are overly nice to you when they know you're angry at them. I didn't want to be her friend anymore, how confusing was that? How hard was that for her to comprehend? Was she stupid as well as a drunken whore? No, I promised myself I wouldn't think of last night. I just couldn't help it. I could feel my anger building throughout the day. I don't know why, but my anger for Jess had spread to hatred of the entire student body.

When I didn't answer her, I guess she finally decided to get to the point, "Look, I'm really sorry about last night. I didn't mean to...I don't know. I didn't mean to upset you." She searched my face as we walked for some kind of emotion. I was fuming and had no problem showing that to her. "Listen, I really didn't know there would be any problem with me being with...If I'd known there was anything between you two anymore, I would have never-"

"There is _nothing_ going on between me and Mike anymore. There _never_ will be." I spat at her coldly.

I didn't want anything to do with Mike anymore. Sure, when I first moved here he was sweet and kind of cute. But that went as far as it was ever going to go. I was not going to take any more of his crap. Mike was impossible to deal with and I hated him. The things he did to me...I'd promised I would never think of that again either. Just like last night. The only problem was that last night I was betrayed by a friend that had promised to stay away from him, to not get involved with him. This was not an issue of jealousy. This was an issue of her safety. She'd stabbed me in the back, tore out my heart, gone to the dark side. Whatever you want to call it, I didn't want anything to do with her anymore either.

"Then why..." She started, but we were already to my science class. I held up my hand to stop her.

"I told you everything about _him_. Everything! Then you decide to..." I couldn't even finish my sentence. It hurt so much to just think about it. I glared at her ashamed face, "Well I came didn't I? At three in the morning, for God's sake!" She nodded to the ground. I shook my head violently with my hands up in defeat, "I'm not talking about this right now. You go do whatever the hell you want to because obviously this friendship isn't worth a damned thing to you."

I turned away from Jess, on the cliff of tears, into my classroom. It was loud and active until the teacher began to speak. I felt lucky today that I was the only one at my lab table. I could spread out and not worry about anyone else pissing me off today. I needed the space today, space to think and figure things out. As much as I fought it, the memories of last night reeled through my head.

--

_Bzzzz...Bzzzz...Bzzzz_

My phone vibrated on my nightstand. Groaning, I peeked at my clock. _3:06 AM._Whaaaat? Whyyyyy? Who would hate me so much to wake me this early? Curiosity got the best of me. I snatched my phone.

"Hewo?" I tried to say, but my mouth and tongue wouldn't quite work yet.

There was heavy breathing on the other end, "Bella?" The breathing cried.

"Jess?" Her cries helped me find the adrenaline of concern that would wake me, "What's wrong? Why are you crying? Are you alright?"

"Yes...No...I don't know. I need you right now, Bella." She pleaded with me. One of my weaknesses: a friend in need. I could never say no to my friends if they needed me. I would do whatever I could for them. Especially Jessica. She needed someone to be there for her.

"Where are you?" I demanded, already slipping into a pair of sweats.

"Tony's Bar." She sobbed.

I grabbed my clanking keys, not caring if my parents woke up or not. "I'll be there in five minutes."

My truck wouldn't go fast enough for me. Jess was in trouble and I needed to be there _now_ to help her. Fortunately, the streets were completely empty of all traffic. Even if a cop tried to pull me over, I wouldn't have stopped until I got to the bar. I considered Jess to be one of my best friends, along with Alice, who was already apart of my family. Jess was almost like part of my family, especially since she didn't really have one of her own. Yeah, she had a mom, a dad, a half-brother. But they were never a family. Her brother was much older, moved out and engaged. Her parents were oblivious to everything but their own selves. Jess didn't need to call them when she was going to be late. She didn't need to tell them where she was going or for how long. It never mattered to them. It hurt me how they treated her, so I introduced her to a real family, even if they weren't as real as they seemed. But every family has issues, I guess. Jess fit right in with everyone in my family. They loved her and soon became protective over her, like I did. One thing I loved about my family was, if someone messed with one of us, they'd have to answer to all of us.

Alice and I had been friends since I'd decided to move to Forks. She was there for me while I struggled with Mike, and she always made sure I knew she was only a phone call away. I loved my sister, Rose. But Alice may as well have been born into the family. For some reason, Alice never made really good friends with Jessica as I had. She told me she thought Jess was trouble and that she would never change. Alice was always right, but I refused to believe her this time.

I should have listened. Lately Jessica seemed to have gotten worse. The drinking, the drugs, the questionable friends. It was so hard to handle. That night I was on the breaking point. This one way friendship was getting to be too much for me and I wasn't sure how much more I could take.

I finally reached Tony's Bar on the edge of town. The lights blazed inside and out while people stumbled out of the doors. Most of the people were young. I couldn't stand the fact that they didn't feel the need to card people here. I parked my noisy truck in the first spot it was big enough to fit into and fumbled with the door handle to jump out.

"Ooooh, sexy!" A group of guys slurred from the front door of the bar, laughing. I ignored them and made my way around the side of the building until I saw a familiar face. Jess was sitting on the cement, back against the bar, hugging her knees. A wave of pity splashed over me. I wanted to hug and comfort her. But that was just my nurturing personality. I knew I should be mad at her and whatever situation she'd gotten herself into this time.

"Jess." I soothed as I plopped myself next to her, wrapping my arms around her.

"Bella," She sniffled, "I'm so sorry!"

I shook my head, refusing her apology. "Let's get out of here, okay?"

She nodded and stumble to her feet. I led her slowly to the truck, catching her whenever she fell over her own feet. And I thought I was the only one who could do that.

"Where ya goin', baby?" The drunk men called to Jess from the bar's front door, "We thought he was going to share!" They laughed.

I was confused but I kept my mouth shut until we got into the truck. "What happened?" I demanded as the engine roared in anger.

"I...I don't even know where to start," She turned to me, tears gone, "I love you, Bella, you know that?"

She was still drunk. "Start at the beginning, Jessica." I pushed.

--

The bell, announcing the end of class, shattered the painful memory. I faded out of my seat and sulked to my next class. Fortunately, I successfully avoided Jess and ran into Alice. She skipped up to my side, but quickly saw I was in no mood for her perkiness.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" She asked with concern.

I really didn't want to talk about it, so I told her the short version. It helped to get some things off my chest, but I was battling with my thoughts too much already to tell her everything. I told her that I would call her that night to vent about everything. She hugged me tightly before I went into my classroom and made me promise not to forget to call. Sitting in my seat as the teacher droned on, I tried to fight the previous night's playback as hard as I could. But it came anyway.

--

The passenger side window filled with Jess's face as she seemed engrossed with the flying trees outside the truck. She was so quiet, I'd wondered if she'd passed out.

"I had to get out of the house. So, I called up my friend, Eric, and we went out."

"Why didn't you call me, Jess?"

"You were sleeping!"

"I was sleeping at three, too!"

She brushed off my comment, "Anyway, we went out to Tony's. I had a few too many drinks and Eric said he had to go. Tried to get me to come too. But I didn't want to, I was having too much fun! Besides, I'm sure I couldv'e gotten a ride with anyone there. So, I told him to get lost and to stop being such a downer." Jess seemed to struggle with what happened next, "I saw Mike Newton there."

My body went numb and cold. I wasn't suprised that Mike was at a bar, but just the thought of him being there with Jess infuriated me. She had no will power, and even less when she's drunk.

"We started talking and I _thought_ he was just being nice, but..." She bit her lip, waiting for my screams. I kept quiet. "He told me he would drive me home. So we got in his car and...and I don't know what happened next. We were making out and taking our clothes off and we..."

I could feel the hot tears stream down my face. Mike was good at making me cry, but Jess usually isn't. Mike was also good at getting what he wanted, especially from women.

"Oh, Bella! I'm so sorry!" She pleaded. Like that made everything better.

I stopped the truck in front of her house. "We're here, Jessica. Get out of my truck." I really meant 'get out of my life' but the words wouldn't come out that way.

"Are you mad at me?" She asked, as if it there were any questions about my feelings.

"GET OUT!" I screamed at her.

--

School lasted too long. And as if I weren't in enough pain, I just _had_to go off and try to play volleyball in gym. My head still hurt where the ball smacked my face. I fled the lockeroom as soon as I was able to and practically ran the entire way to my truck. I ran because it was raining, I was happy for the school day to end, but mostly because I didn't want to see anyone. All I wanted was some relaxing time to myself.

I knew I wouldn't be able to get relaxation at home. My older sister, Rosalie, was always butting into my issues. My parents, Renee and Charlie, were usually fighting and if they weren't fighting, they were thinking of fighting. The only place I could go to get away was the local bookstore. I was more than ecstatic when they'd decided to build the new bookstore just down the street from my house and found myself going there whenever I could.

Inside the bookstore, it smelled like old and new ink covered pages, there for my pleasure. I quickly greeted Kate, the owner, who was in her respective spot at the front desk.

"Considering all the times you've been in here the past week, "Kate smiled at me, "I think you need a vacation."

I laughed as I continued walking towards my favorite section of classics, "You're telling me!"

I release a deep breath when I was finally surrounded by my friends, William Shakespeare and Jane Austen. But something caught my eye an aisle over, the music book section. It was normally filled with sheets and sheets of music by anyone from Beethoven to the Beatles. This time, however, the section was accompanied by the most beautiful boy I'd ever seen. I knew I'd never seen him before. I would have remembered his sexy, messy bronze hair, his smooth pale skin, and those emerald eyes that now carefully read Braham's requiem. He didn't seem much older than I was, so I should have seen him in school or something. But even though I was disoriented by anger today, I would have noticed this amazing angel that was now just an aisle over from me. I almost had to convince myself that he was real and not the work of Michelangelo.

"Edward!" A female voice called from the doorway of the store. My personal Greek statue spun his head in that direction, almost dropping the book he was holding.

"Coming." His velvet voice floated into the air, making me sigh. Edward's face flinched in my direction, locking with my awkward gaze through the tall bookshelf that separated us. His look sent the butterflies in my stomach crazy. I wanted to look away, embarrassed, but he wouldn't let me. I felt all of my worries and stress I'd felt throughout that day disappear. I was safe and secure from all of the craziness going on outside his eyes.

"Come on, Edward, we need to get you registered for classes so you can go to school tomorrow." The woman by the door sweetly reminded him.

He broke our staring contest, putting away the book and dragged himself towards the door. He stole one last look in my direction through the closing glass door. I've never been faint in my life, but that just look just about sent my feet over my head. As soon as the door had closed, I felt completely and absolutely alone.

I took comfort in the thought of tomorrow. He would be in school tomorrow.


	2. At War With The World

**By the way, in case I didn't mention to you before...I don't own Twilight or its characters...sniffle that was painful...**

**Alright! So this chapter is in Bella POV again but the next one I'm thinking of doing Edward...yeeeaaah I have like two senteces on chapter three perfected but i'm struggling between several different ideas. I'm still open to suggestions.**

**Please please please please please review so I know this is not all complete crap :-D**

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That night, I dreamt green. Everything surrounding me was shining like emeralds and I loved it.

"Get up, already! God, you're a pain in my ass!" The voice smashed my dream. I wanted to kill the voice.

I opened my heavy eyes to see my sister, Rose, standing in my doorway and I automatically wanted to puke. She looked like a supermodel in her everyday school clothes: white mini skirt, matching heels, tight red button-up shirt. I don't understand how we could actually be related. I hated her for pulling off the look and for never tripping. Her boyfriend, Emmett, must go absolutely insane trying to keep those college boys in their place around her.

I groaned and pulled my comforter over my messy bed head, "Go away!"

She growled, "Fine! Be late for school! Not like I care!" I could hear her voice fading down the hall.

Wait a second. School! For the first time, in my entire history of school, I was excited to go. Glimpses of that beautiful boy from the bookstore rushed through my head. What was his name again? Edward? I think that's right. It took me longer than usual to figure out what I was going to wear. I settled on the most stylish jeans I owned, which weren't very stylish, and a comfortable green sweater. Then I rushed to the bathroom to rip a brush through my hair and get rid of my morning breath.

"What's the rush, Bells?" Rose inquired as I grabbed a granola bar and headed out the door.

"No rush, just don't want to be late!" I slammed the door behind me. My stomacher kept flip-flopping the closer I got to my truck and I just about thought I was going to get sick when I turned the the key in the ignition. I was getting over my head about this, I know. But I couldn't help it. Forks High School hadn't gotten a new student since I arrived and I could tell Edward was different than the rest of the people in this small town. I remember the excitement when the town's new police chief arrived with his family. Everyone was so excited we were here, I felt like the bombs of questions would never stop.

The school parking lot was only half filled when I got there with cars I recognized. My insides stopped going crazy and dropped. Maybe he wasn't even going to this school. Maybe he was going to the bigger high school in Port Angeles. I fell back into my slump until Alice danced up to my truck.

"Hey, lover-girl!" She laughed. Of course, I had to tell her about my bookstore experience the night before. Now she was just as excited as I was, possibly more. She'd been dying for me to find someone since before Mike. I never even really liked Mike. He was just there out of convenience, (and he wouldn't give up until I said yes). Alice just wanted me to be as happy as she was with her man, Jasper. Jasper went to college with Rose's boyfriend, Emmett. They were good friends as far as I could tell. I was happy for Alice and Rose, but I was happy being single.

"Hey, Alice," I dropped out of the truck with my school bag, "What's up?" she looked suspicious to me.

"Nothing," She shrugged, her smile never dimming, "Just have a feeling that today's going to be a _very_ good day." I sighed. She thought she was never wrong about anything. Well, I do have to admit that she was right a lot. But I'm not sure all the time. Mostly, I think she relies on coincidences.

We walked to our first classes, which went quickly. In English class, I overheard some of the other, preppy girls gossiping.

"I _know_! He's just _so_ cute!" The blond exclaimed.

"Oh, no, he's more that just _cute_! He's darnright, fucking _sexy_!" The brunette corrected.

The blond silently laughed, "Literally!"

I rolled my eyes. Those cheerleader freaks were always talking about some guy, mostly from the football team. But sometimes they got tired of the team and diverted their attention to the band, then the debate team. I couldn't imagine who they were talking about now since they've gone through all the guys in the entire school last semester alone. Unless there was a new guy. A very attractive new guy with green eyes? My heart sped up at the same time the clock on the wall slowed down. Damnit.

Lunch wouldn't come soon enough. I met Angela and Tyler in the hall, as usual, and we met up with Alice at the cafeteria entrance.

"So," Tyler spoke for the first time, "I hope you guys don't mind, but I invited this new guy to sit with us at lunch today."

Alice beamed at me. I ignored her as I looked up to the sky, "Is it going to snow?" I said, trying to be as oblivious as possible.

"That's fine, babe," Angela replied sweetly, "We need another guy at the table!"

I was thankful for Alice's silence through the lunch line. Looking at all the food that didn't look like it should be eaten anyway, I decided my stomach couldn't handle even attempting to consume what I saw. So, I bought a can of soda and sat down in my usual spot. My eyes scanned the students entering the cafeteria. My heart stopped when I saw him. Edward definitely did _not_ fit in here. He stood out like a shooting star across a starless midnight sky.

"Edward!" Tyler called over the students. I immediately studied my soda can, letting my hair cover my reddened face. Suddenly, I wished we had not chosen to sit at a round table with one empty seat, (the seat where Jessica use to sit). And I wished that seat hadn't been right next to me.

I heard the chair skid across the hard linoleum floor and squeak under weight. "Hey." Edwards smoothe voice made my face turn from light pink to candy apple red.

Tyler began introducing everyone, "Edward, this is my girlfriend Angela, and our friends Alice--"

"Hi, Edward!" She chirped.

"--and Bella."

I think I stopped breathing but I couldn't be sure. Lack of oxygen wasn't my major concern. "Bella," Edward said softly beside me, forcing my gaze from my soda to his blazing green eyes, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

I smiled quickly at him, "You, too." I rushed. It seemed that the best solution to keep from sounding completely illiterate was to keep the words that came out of my mouth to a minimum.

"Edward," Alice demanded his attention, "What brings to you to Forks?"

He shifted slightly in his seat, "Um...Well my father got a position at the hospital and uh...it's a nice place here." He seemed nervous, like he didn't know what to say. My curiosity peaked at why this may be.

Poor Edward went through a question and answer session with Alice. I found out that he was seventeen and he owns a silver Volvo and a motorcycle. He didn't have a licence for the motorcycle yet, but he rode anyway. I didn't quite understand what kind of bike it was. Whenever people try to tell me about bikes, it just all sounds like a whole bunch of letters and numbers mixed together. I Think he said it was a Suzuki GXR 750. He'd been riding since he was just a kid. He also told us that he played the piano and use to play basketball, but couldn't anymore.

"Why can't you play basketball anymore?" Alice pushed for information he was obviously not willing to tell.

"Injuries." He waved off the subject, "So what is there to do around here?"

"Not much," Angela admitted, "We have a bowling alley, a bookstore, movies in Port Angeles...aaannnd..." She concentrated, "I guess that's it." She laughed, "You're going to be bored, trust me."

Edward nodded, seeming pleased about something, as the warning bell echoed through the cafeteria. I grabbed my things quickly.

"See ya, guys!" I speed walked to my next class. Without tripping, I might add.

I spread out my things across my lab table, just as I'd done every day and stretched out over both the chairs. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. That wasn't so bad. At least I didn't do anything embarrassing during lunch. I kept breathing deeply in relief.

"Is this seat taken?" I tore myself out of my meditation, noticing the room was filled. Edward was standing beside the seat my feet occupied. I was too shocked to move at first, his eyes bough-rowing deep into mine. A crooked smile swept across his amazing face, making motion harder to find. Somehow, I managed to let my feet fall off the chair.

"No." My small voice surprised me. Edward glided into the seat next to me, never letting me find my way out of his gemstone eyes.

"So..." Maybe he was having just as hard of time speaking as I was, "Is this class hard, or what?"

"No." It seemed that that was all I was able to say. Nope, he was definitely a better conversationalist than I was at the moment. I felt like I should say more to him, but what?

He released me from his powerful eyes as class began. Able to think for the first time, I gathered my things from his side of the desk and whipped out my notebook and pen.

"Um...Bella?" I looked up through my shielding hair, "Can I borrow a pen?" His smile just about made me fall out of my seat as I leaned over to grab a spare pen out of my bag. "Thanks." I tried to smile back as I handed him the writing utensil. But as soon at his fingers lightly touched my skin, I felt a wave of electricity run through my skin. The pen jumped out of my hand.

_Click-Click_

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I blurted as I carefully twisted in my seat to pick the pen up from the floor. I could see him shaking from laughter.

"My fault entirely." He reassured me.

The duration of class dragged on in silence between us. I was so jittery. My tapping pen seemed to boom on my text book to the rhythm of my shaking foot. I was only listening to half of the lecture. Evidently, there was some sort of evasive beetle invading the eastern part of the country called the Emerald Ash Borer. That was about all that I got out of that class. I stole a peek from under my protective hair at Edward. He was dutifully writing pages of notes in elegant script that made my writing look like chicken-scratch. I only allowed myself to look at him for a second or two. The last thing I needed was to get caught gawking at this beautiful dream beside me.

At the end of class, I shoved all my things in my arms in record speed and dashed for the door.

"Bella?" I turned to Edward, "Your pen?" He held my pen out to me to take.

I waved him off, "Keep it. You'll need it!" I called to him as I continued out the door.

Gym was nothing special. I somehow avoided hurting myself or anyone else. Well, okay, that's a lie. I did hurt one person, but I was proud of that. We were still playing volleyball and Mike happened to be on the opposing team. His mocking stare and offensive gestures towards me became too much and sent me over the edge.

"Hey, Bella!" Mike called over to me, laughing, "When's your little friend free again? I had fun with her."

About two second later, the dangerous volleyball came speeding towards my position in the front row. But this time, the ball wasn't dangerous to _me._ Fury sent my feet flying up in the air after the ball and anger drove my fist smashing down, hitting the ball with perfect aim. I landed on my butt, which hurt like hell. But the pain was well worth it to see Mike, curled in the fetal position, clutching his own balls, cringing in pain. I know, I know, violence is not the answer. But, you have to admit, sometimes it makes you feel a whole lot better.

I was still elated about my victory when I got into my truck to drove home.

_Tap Tap Tap_

I looked to the window closest to me. Jessica was standing outside my truck, looking impatient. I had the sudden urge to pull away, running over her foot. Instead, I decided to play nice and got out of the cab to face her.

"What do you want, Jess?" I was so weary all of the sudden. Just the thought of the upcoming fight made me exhausted.

"I wanted to apologize again to you." She said slightly forcefully.

"Fine. Is that all?" I crossed my arms.

"Well...are we still friends?" She almost sounded like a child asking for approval from a parent.

I took a deep breath and release my anger slowly with the carbon monoxide, "What do you think?"

Jessica shifted her weight, unsure of herself, "I know I'm a horrible person, Bella. But I swear to you, I will never do that again."

"Which part?" I spat coldly, "The drinking or sleeping with your friend's ex-boyfriend?"

She stared at me wide-eyed, "Both."

"I trusted you," I was shaking, "You were almost like my sister." I hissed at her.

"Were?" Tears were starting to threaten her eyes.

"Were." I confirmed. "Without trust, there is no friendship, Jessica. How can I ever trust you again?"

"What can I do?" She pleaded with me, tears inching down her cheek.

I couldn't imagine ever forgiving her. She'd betrayed me in the worst possible way. There was no way our friendship could ever bounce back from that. But her tears hurt me. It was almost unbearable to see her sad, especially with the knowledge that I made her sad. I still wanted to help her get clean and get a conscience. And I knew she needed a friend that would want to help her.

"Let me think about it." I told her quietly, still in thought.

Her smile was small, but still there, "Thanks, Bella."

"Yeah." I got into my truck one more time, backed up slowly, making sure anyone who wasn't Mike was out of the way, and drove home.

The drive seemed even shorter than it normally was. What was I suppose to do about Jessica? Yeah, she was irresponsible and sometimes impossible to deal with. But was that really her fault? Wasn't it her parents' horrible child-raising skills? She wasn't always like this either. When we'd first become friends, she was so sweet and innocent. But the wrong crowd who was into the wrong stuff drew her in. I wanted her to be safe, living a life that would lead to her not living on the drug-infested streets of some major city. But could she ever really change, even if she wanted to? I convinced myself that none of these questions needed to be answered right now.

I was surprised when I pulled into my driveway to see that both my parents and my sister were home. Today my dad, Charlie was suppose to work the night shift and he should have left already. Rose is usually out with friends. She doesn't like to be home any more than I do. And Renee likes to take up random hobbies that takes up her time. I snuck into the house and listened to where everyone was. It sounded like Renee and Charlie were in the kitchen, talking stressfully low, and my sister was listening to music in her room next to mine. I silently went straight to my room and shut my door, pleased I'd avoided my family. I just needed a few minutes to think before going downstairs again.

"It's not _my_ fault you lost it!" Renee screamed from downstairs.

Charlie said something inaudible.

"Bullshit it was in the laundry!" She yelled.

A loud bang from something falling resounded throughout the house. I cringed when I heard the slamming doors and a few more things falling to the wooden floor. I could even hear my mothers exaggerated stomps around the house. What was she looking for?

"Here!" She was crying, "Take your damned belt and just get the hell out of here!"

I waited a moment and the front door slammed as Charlie left for work. Renee gave one last scream in his direction. It seemed that no matter how much they fought, it still hurt me to hear it. I wished they would just stop. I didn't care how or why.

_Tap Tap_ came quietly from my door.

"Who is it?" I whispered.

"It's me." Rose whispered back.

I got up from my bed and quietly opened the door. I could hear Renee's cries to someone on the phone down the stairs.

"Can I come in?" Rosalie's face was wet with tears. She lifted her hand to wipe something from my cheek. My hands shot up in surprise to my eyes. They were wet, too.

I nodded and closed the door behind her as she slid herself on my bed. I sat next to her. "Are you okay, honey?" Rose soothed.

I could only nod again, afraid that words would make the tears come out faster.

"I know..." She didn't even try to fight her emotions, "Me, too." Her arms wrapped around me, sending me over the edge of the dreadful cliff. I couldn't stop the crying now. Rose rocked me back and forth, trying to comfort me. "It's all going to be okay, sweetie." She cooed.

"No, it's not." I sobbed, "It's never going to be okay."

She pulled me away from her, to force me to look at her, "As long as we have each other, everything will be okay." Rose wiped my hair out of my face. "No matter what happens, you'll always be my little sister and I'll always love you and be here for you." She gave a slight smile, "No matter how much we annoy each other."

Emotions swelled up inside of me, "I love you too, Rose, and you'll always be my big sister."

"You wanna go out?" Rose always knew exactly what I needed. I did need to get out of the house where there was fresh air and not as much tension. I nodded and she picked her cell phone out of her back pocket. I already knew who she was going to call.

"Emmett, love, Bells and I need to get out. Are you busy?" She listened for a brief moment. "Great. Will you meet us down the street in twenty minutes?"

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**Decided to attempt a cliffhanger ;-) don't worry, I'll get better at it. Anywhat, I know making Edward Bella's lab partner wasn't very original, but originallity will come later...hmmm wonder why Edward can't play sports? Hmmm wonder why Edwars doesn't...Oh wait! That would give it away, oops! Hehe sorry I know I'm just being cruel now.**


	3. Nevermore

**Okay, just so y'all know, I really like this chapter, personally. Also, in case you wouldn't have guess the _italicized_ text is the past and no, Edward is not completely insane. :-D Let me know what you think please! Reviewing is healthy...like cheerios, it lowers cholesterol...and my stress level which lowers my risk of a heart attack! (To those of you who have reviewed my story so far: you rock! You guys have no idea how happy y'all made me!)_

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_**Edward's POV**_

When I got home after my first day of school, I was so dizzy I couldn't think. All those names and faces. It was impossible to keep them all straight. But there was one person's face and name I couldn't keep out of my mind. Bella. She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. I tried and failed not to think about her. Even after I saw her in the bookstore the day before, I was hoping to see her again. Now that I had, I regretted it. It would only make things more difficult for me to keep my distance.

"How was your day, Edward?" My mother, Esme, asked when I got home.

"Fine." I told her as I ran up the stairs to my room. I really didn't want to talk about my day. Or any other day.

As I ran the third flight of stairs to my room and shut the door behind me, I felt numb. Here, in my bedroom, I didn't have to fake feelings that I didn't really feel. I didn't have to pretend that nothing happened. I was a blank page, empty. It was like I'd ran out of feelings the past year and they were never coming back. But I also knew that there were other things that weren't coming back with my emotions...things I wouldn't allow myself to think about.

The piano by the window-wall in my large room looked so inviting. This instrument had alwas gotten me through rough spots in my life before, my thoughts and feelings guiding my fingers across the black and white keys. But the only difference was that this time, I had nothing to guide my hands except for the page of notes in front of me.

_"I love it when you play the piano."_ A familiar voice informed me in my head. I'd known this voice for so long, yet it seemed like an eternity since I heard it. I missed this voice. _"It's so comforting, makes me thinks there's hope."_

_"Hope for what?"_ I asked, not wanting her to stop talking.

_"Everything. The world. The future. Us."_ She said softly.

_"Us?"_ Though I couldn't see her now, I could almost feel her blush the way she always used to when she'd realized she'd said too much.

_"I'd always hoped, well wished really, that we would...I mean, if we ever could..."_ She attempted to laugh it off, _"But...oh well."_

But what? My memories wouldn't answer me back. It was gone and took everything of me with it, leaving me a void of nothingness.

I shook my head, hoping that the jerking movement would let my past fall right out of my head. It didn't work. So, I decided I needed to get out of here. Fresh air might help. I concentrated on each step down the stairs and didn't let anything else into my thoughts.

"Where are you going?" Esme called from the living room, concerned.

"Out. I'll be back before dinner." I tried to smile at her. The thing about my mother is, she sees through just about everything. Well, emotions anyway. But she was too sweet and caring to push anyone to tell her things if they didn't want to be pushed.

Out in the garage, my Volvo looked like a little peice of heaven. I climbed in but as soon as I put the key in the ignition, I stopped. I couldn't move my hand to turn the key. Every single muscle in my body locked up, not allowing me to move a fraction of an inch. I knew hyperventilation, but I had never experienced it quite like this. My breathing accelerated to the point I thought I was going to puke.

_The laughter in my memories rang out in excitment. I could taste the beer in my mouth._

I felt like I was drowning in a sea of oxygen. I could feel the air coming in and going out of my lungs, but my mind still told me I was not breathing.

_Tanya squeezed my hand but I couldn't see her. I didn't even know where I was. "Are you okay?" She looked worried._

The keys starting clanking louder and louder together in my shaking hand, but I couldn't hear it though the buzzing noise in my ears.

_Lights. There were so many lights and I couldn't understand where they all came from._

_Screeeeeeeeeech!!_

The dizziness spun me around so fast, I felt like I was on a roller coaster. I _knew_ I wasn't spinning and I _knew _I was breathing. That knowledge didn't change a damned thing.

I tried to move again. Most of my body wouldn't comply, but I managed to throw myself out of the drivers seat and onto the hard cement floor of the garage. The coolness on the bare skin of my arms and sweat-drenched face felt good, cleansing almost.

I don't know how long I sat there, my hand still clutching the car keys. But it was long enough for the waves of nausea to subside, the dizziness to slow down, and my breathing to almost return to normal. It was very difficult to stand on my wobbly legs when I tried to stand. Fine, forget the stupid car. I'd rather walk anyway. Before I left the garage, I found a bottle of water and poured it over my face and hair, drenching myself. The ice-cold liquid brought my senses back, even though it still took several minutes for my legs to work properly and I was still shaking slightly.

It was cold outside. Maybe in the upper fourties, but my wet hair and clothes didn't help at all. I roamed down random streets and even though I wasn't really paying any attention to direction, I felt confident that I wouldn't get lost in such a small town. Cars passed every once in a while. I had a feeling that a traffic jam in this town was four cars at a stop light.

Most of the buildings were red brick and looked like something out of the twenties or thirties. Even the town's one pizza place looked like it had seen better days.

"Edward!"

I looked around to find the source of the voice and locked eyes with Bella, who was across the street. She was getting out of a classic muscle car, (old Mustang, I think), with a tall blond and a very muscular guy who eyed me suspiciously. I waved in their direction and kept walking.

"Wait up!" Bella called after me again. I didn't want to wait up. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to see her. Why was she suddenly so confident and wanted to talk to me? She was so shy earlier today at school.

I reluctantly slowed my pace, but never stopped moving. I could hear her running behind me.

"Hello, Bella." I forced my eyes to stay straight ahead and not look into her enormous dark chocolate eyes, for fear I would get lost in them again.

"Hey." I could hear her smile in her voice. It was beautiful. "Um...I'm sorry if I seemed rude earlier today." She laughed. The sound almost sent me over the edge, it just about made me forget everything else that had placed me in this depressed state.

"S'okay, don't worry about it." I took a peek to my side at her and grinned. My grin turned into a huge smile just by looking at her. Bella really was gorgeous. Her silky hair was running wild in the breeze and those big brown eyes turned my knees wobbly and useless again. I stopped walking. I was lost again, just like in the bookstore.

Bella took another step and tried to stop and turn at the same time. She tripped over her own feet and right into me.

"Oh!" She yelped. I wrapped my arms around her waist to steady her before she had the chance to make us both fall into the sidewalk. Suddenly, I couldn't let her go. I didn't want to let go. I wanted to hold her like this forever. Her curious eyes studied mine for a moment and the sweetest blush rushed over her cheeks, but she made no attempt to leave my arms. She belonged there, I could feel it. The last year, I was empty and emotionless. Now, with Bella, I had feelings I never knew existed. I was happy. But not just the normal kind of happy, like when you find out your favorite ice cream is on sale. It was as if she had just given me the greatest gift the the entire world...no, the entire universe. I'd stopped breathing, I don't think she was breathing either. We were lost in each other.

"Bella..." The tall blond reminded us that we were on a public sidewalk, ripping our gazes from each other. With sadness, I released Bella and put a little space between us. I needed the space to come back to my senses. What was this girl doing to me? I was perfectly fine in my grief, I was comfortable. But now I was dizzy with sticky palms because of her. This was not good.

The blond looked slightly impatient next to the big guy, "So, are you going to introduce us to your new friend?" She asked.

"Oh, um...Edward, this is my older sister, Rosalie, and her boyfriend, Emmett." She turned to them, "Guys, this is Edward. He just moved her. We have class together."

"Uhuh." Rosalie huffed, eyeing me up and down. Perhaps she was just trying to be a protective big sister, but she was very intimidating. "Bells, do you want pizza or not?"

"Yeah, I'm coming." Bella turned back to me, she seemed embarrassed, "Do you want to come, Edward?"

Yes, yes, I did want to go with her. I wanted to go everywhere with her. But a deep breath cleared my mind and forced me to remember the things I tried so hard to forget. I use to have pizza with someone a year ago. We went all the time. Suddenly, the nausea returned. I felt weak.

"Um...No, but thank you for asking." I replied, earning a confused look from Bella. "My mother's cooking dinner and I really should get back home so she doesn't worry." I shrugged.

Bella nodded, "Okay, then. Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow in school."

"Yeah...See ya tomorrow." I swiftly told her as I turned my back to her and began walking as fast as I could. I didn't even care if I seemed rude anymore. I could deal with being rude if it would make it easier to stay away from her. I didn't want to make her upset, but that might be the price for my sanity.

I jogged towards my house. Halfway there I had to slow back down to a slow walk. The pain in my legs was excruciating. I was so used to being able to run and jump that I sometimes forgot about...well, it wasn't a big deal really. But the pain wasn't only in my legs.

_"Why do you run away from people like that?" _Tanya's voice asked me and I was back in my memories again. We sat in my room at my old house.

_"What do you mean?"_ I had asked her.

_"Well,"_ She shifted her weight,_ "Whenever someone tries to be friendly with you, you push them away. Why do you do that?"_

I shrugged, _"I don't know. I guess I just figure if I make friends with someone they'll probably move away or I'll move away or...I don't know, I just know something's going to happen."_

Tanya laughed, _"So, you're just trying to protect yourself by denying yourself friends? That doesn't seem fair, Edward."_

_"You're my friend._" I pointed out.

She nodded in agreement, _"And I'll always be your friend. Forever. No matter what."_

_"I know, Tanya."_ And I did know. I knew all too well that what she had said was true.

When I opened the door to my house, the smell of lasagna and garlic bread was overwhelming. I knew I wouldn't have been able to keep anything in my stomach so I headed straight for the stairs.

"Edward," My father, Carlisle was coming out of the kitchen with the lasagna, "Aren't you going to eat?"

I shook my head and continued to my room. I needed to be numb again. It was the only way I was going to survive my thoughts and live with my guilt. This was all my fault. Everything was going to hell because of me, because of what I'd done. I didn't deserve to even think about Bella the way I was. But I couldn't stop the thoughts of her from entering my mind anyway. I wanted her. I wanted her to be with someone who didn't deserve her in any sense or reality. All I had to do was not talk to her again. Why was that so hard for me? Gravity moved towards this beautiful, amazing girl. She could redeem me or condemn me. There was no way I was going to let her have that power. I was perfectly content being condemned the way I was.

Somehow I slept. I dreamt of Bella that night. It was the most painful dream I'd ever had. Which is weird because under any other circumstances, it would have been the best dream of my life. But it hurt nonetheless. Bella was in my arms last night. Not in the way she was earlier that day, but in a more intimate way. We were lovers who cared for each other more than anything else in the world. We found that we were perfect for each other and had no choice but to be together for all of time. Her smooth, warm skin caressed mine. Everything felt so good. When I woke up, I was in tears, further into the deep, dark pit of my grief than I already was. I could still feel her warmth, smell her skin, hear her laughter. I knew this would never happen. My dream would never come true. I would never let it come true. She didn't need to endure me and my black memories. No one did.

I only left myself enough time to run to my first class when I got to school that morning. The day dragged on, no one talking to me until english class.

"Hey, bud, know any Poe?" Tyler asked me. It seemed like a random question that I didn't understand at first.

"What?" I was dazed.

"Do you know anything about Edgar Allen Poe?" He asked like he was talking to a five year old.

"Um...yeah...I mean, he was the one who wrote all those morbid stories and was in love with his cousin or something, right?"

"Hell if I know," He shrugged, "But we have a pop quiz on him today and I know absolutely nothing about the guy."

I knew my far share of Poe. He was one of my favorite authors actually. Especially his poem "The Raven." I guess that explains a lot about me and how I'd changed. I used to hate Poe's works. I found it too depressing. I was more into Robert frost before a year ago.

The quiz was simple. A few questions about "Tell Tale heart" and "Fall of the House of Usher." But I was more concerned about the end of class. End of english marked the beginning of lunch and lunch meant Bella. Sweet, beautiful Bella who I would have to completely avoid today, possibly hurting her.

I sped through the lunch line and picked the seat furthest from Bella's normal spot and began concentrating on my unidentified food. I think it was a hamburger.

"Whoa, rough quiz in english, huh?" Tyler plopped himself beside me. I didn't know much about him, but he seemed okay. Not someone to make good friends with, but someone to complain about school with. More importantly, he was someone to occupy my time during lunch so I wouldn't have to pay attention to Bella.

"Yeah, right, I know. Rough." I lied.

"Hey, guys!" Bella sat across the large, round table from me. I didn't look at her.

"Yo, Bellerz!" Tyler tried to sound like a gangster.

"Tyler," She sighed, "That's _really_ annoying."

He laughed and Angela sat by Bella silently. I wondered why she didn't sit by Tyler today. Isn't that what you do when you're dating? I brushed it off and continued talking to Tyler about the quiz that was evidently difficult, while Angela and Bella discussed something that seemed much more urgent.

"I don't know what to do about her, Ange...She's been driving me crazy. I don't know if I could ever forgive her for what she did to me." Bella sounded really hurt about something. It alarmed me how concerned about her I was.

"You are _not_ her keeper, Bella. You are _not_ responsible for her and her actions." Angela soothed, "What she did to you...I don't think _I_ can forgive her and I never even dated Mike!"

Dated? Wait, is that past tense or was Bella still dating Mike? Doesn't matter. I don't care.

"Alice!" Bella squealed.

"Hey, sweetie!" A little pixie-like girl danced over to the table, giving Bella a big hug.

"I'm so glad you decided to come to lunch today!" Bella teased.

Alice shrugged, "Yeah, well, computer lab was closed, ya know. Don't get use to it." She giggled.

After Alice showed up, the girls started to whisper to each other, making it impossible to eavesdrop. Not that I cared...because I didn't. Did not care at all. I would keep telling myself this until I believed it. For some reason, there was one quote in history that really stuck with me. It was from Hitler. He once said: "a lie told often enough is considered as truth." He proved he was right and I believed believed it. So, when I've told myself that I didn't care about Bella and what she did and who she was with enough times, it would be true.

In biology class, we watch a movie about the effect of steam water quality on aquatic insects. And yes, it was as boring as it sounds. But only the movie was boring. Bella tried very hard to get my attention several times before finally resorting to verbal tactics.

"This movie sucks." Bella whispered to me.

I didn't reply. I was frozen, staring at the screen. But I could see her looking at me in my peripheral vision.

"I mean, why would I care about the stupid mayflies and how many of them are in the Colorado River? We're not even near the Colorado River!" She hissed in my ear.

I shrugged, still silent.

A few moments passed, "Are you alright, Edward?" Bella asked, worried.

I nodded. But I didn't turn to her.

"Edward." She wanted me to face her. I didn't think I had the strength to. "Edward!"

She forced me to do what I never wanted to. I spun my head around to tell her to "fuck off and leave me the hell alone." Normally I don't use such harsh language, but I thought telling her this would get the point across more effectively. But when I looked at her concerned expression, tainting her amazing eyes and her beautiful face, I was reminded of how wrong I was. My furious face was softened. I didn't really want her to leave me alone and no matter how many times I tried to convince myself, I did care about her. Nothing was going to change that.

"What is it, Bella?" I asked, softly.

She seemed to be frozen for a moment, startled by my sudden change in attitude, "Nothing." She turned back to the television screen and neither one of us said another word to each other till the end of class.

"Um...Edward?" Bella caught my attention as we were heading out the door to the last class of the day.

"Yes?" I couldn't look at her immediately, but I eventually did. It was too exhausting to ignore her. And I just didn't want to.

"Um...well...I was just wondering if everything was alright." She fidgeted nervously, "I just...um...want to make sure I didn't upset you or anything." She studied the ground by her feet.

I chuckled, "Bella, you didn't upset me." I upset myself.

"Okay, I wanted to make for sure." She said quietly, "I wanted to let you know, too, that the bookstore is having a little party. Kate noticed you looking at the piano books and was wondering if you could play for the party."

"No!" I blurted out a little more coldly than I meant it.

"Why--" She started.

"Bella," I forced my anger to the surface, cutting her off. All of the depression and fury from the past year came back to me. I knew I couldn't do this to her face, so I looked to my left at all the students going to class, "Fuck off." And before I could see her reaction, I turned away from Bella and started walking the long way to my class.

Later, after school's official end, I sulked to the buses. I hated not being able to drive my Volvo and I hated myself for hurting Bella. I was near a rusty old red truck when I heard someone crying.

"It's okay, sweetie." I recognized Alice's small, high-pitched voice, "Jessica didn't mean what she said, she didn't mean it. Don't cry, Bells..."

"Why does it seem like all these people hate me, Ali? I don't understand! First Mike, then Jess, and now..."

"Shhh-Shhh...Everything is going to be fine." Alice soothed, "Mike hates everyone and Jess doesn't hate you. She's confused. And Edward...well I don't know just was _his_ problem is, but I'm sure he doesn't hate you either."

Bella thought I hated her? Nothing could be further from the truth. As I turned to face the beautiful crying girl, I was met with a deadly glare from Alice.

"Bella?" My voice would grow no louder than a whisper.

Her wet, red face whipped towards me, "What the hell do you want, asshole?"

I was stunned by her sudden harshness. But it was nothing less than I deserved. "I'm sorry." This time I was the one who was staring at my feet.

There was silence for a moment and then I felt Bella's little hand on my arm, sending a jolt of electricity through my system.

"Edward," I looked up at her as she spoke, "Don't you _ever_ do that to me again." I nodded, "And you're still an asshole until you prove me wrong, got it?" She gave a tiny grin and I nodded again, giving a slight grin of my own.


	4. Hate Me

**Yes, so this one is back tracking just a bit but I think y'all will like the next chapter...once I figure out what the next chapter _is_anyway. Hmmm...may be a poll coming up if I get stuck :-D_

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_Bella POV_

I couldn't understand why Edward was ignoring me in biology class. The day before, when I'd seen him walking around town, I though we'd had a moment when I fell into his strong, secure arms. Maybe I was the only one who noticed. When he'd caught me, Id felt alive for the first time in a long time. I could still feel the shocking wave of emotion for him while we sat though the boring movie in class. Still, he seemed completely oblivious to me and my futile attempts to start a conversation. I should have let it go and left him alone. But for some reason I couldn't. I was addicted to his eyes, his voice, and I was going through withdraw. I'd never felt like this with anyone before. I'd never felt the need to find out as much as I could about a single person till I met Edward.

"Edward." I whispered for his attention, "Edward!"

His face spun furiously, startling me with his sudden anger. The electrical current flowing between us must have just been my hopeful imagination. There was nothing more between us than just air.

His expression softened, "What is it, Bella?" The need for his attention had vanished and I'd forgotten why I'd wanted it so badly.

"Nothing." I swiftly admitted and turned back to the movie to try not to fall asleep.

I would make no more attempts to talk to him until class was over. Suddenly, I regretted telling Kate, from the bookstore, that I would talk to him. Maybe I needed to apologize for whatever I did to upset him. I tried to recall anything that I'd said or done around him that could be taken the wrong way. A horrible thought crossed my mind. What if he'd heard about what had happened between me and Mike? Edward would probably have thought less of me if he'd found out I'd even dated that son of a bitch. And I didn't need anyone to tell me I was weak for letting Mike show me his true personality. What if Edward was just another Mike? No, I couldn't believe that. I refused to believe that. Edward was completely different than anyone else I'd ever met.

I dreaded the end of class and, as time proves itself to be cruel once again, the bell came too quickly.

"Um...Edward?" I said quietly to Edward's back as we left the classroom.

He stopped to answer me, "Yes?" I tried to keep my focus through the sound of his voice, ignoring all emotion it gave me.

"Um...well...I was just wondering if everything was alright." Okay, so some emotions were very hard to ignore. I experimented with looking at the floor in hopes I would stop tripping over my words. "I just...um...want to make sure I didn't upset you or anything."

I head his chuckle, "Bella, you didn't upset me." That was a huge relief.

"Okay, I wanted to make for sure." I continued to stare at my feet, rocking onto my heels and back to keep my concentration, "I wanted to let you know, too, that the bookstore is having a little party. Kate noticed you looking at the piano books and was wondering if you could play for the party." I held my breath.

"No!" He spat at me. I looked up at his flushed face. Why was he so angry? A simple, cordial 'no' would have been fine for me. He seemed truly offended by even the idea of playing a piano.

"Why--" I was cut off by Edward's exasperated voice.

"Bella," I could see the emotions running through his face. Fury, contempt , anger, frustration, depression were all there. For a moment, I felt close to him. I understood these feelings too. "Fuck off." Nope, closeness gone. I didn't understand him at all. And with that, Edward ran to his next class, leaving me there to fight my own emotions.

Then his words finally hit me. My dulled senses always promised me delayed reactions. Fuck off. That's what he said? My face became very hot and breathing became painful. What just happened? Why did he hate me so much now? And why the hell was I going to cry over this...this...infuriatingly wonderful, fucking beautiful man that I now hated? I sighed and promised myself I would not cry for him...at school anyway.

Gym was hell. Tennis hell this time with demonic rackets and evil looking balls. I swear, if Mike had been at any of the courts near me, I would have made another attempt to injure a very sensitive part of his body again. Maybe without hurting myself this time. Too bad he'd decided to play as far away from me as he possibly could. I'm sure he could taste my murderous intentions.

I darted to my truck after school. The sooner I got home, the sooner I could have my own private crying session with my friends, Ben & Jerry and one of their more chocolaty flavors.

Jessica and Alice took me by surprise. They were both standing by my truck arguing.

"Why can't you just leave her alone?" Alice yelled at Jess.

"This is between me and Bella, you bitch, so get out of here!" Jess spat back at her.

"Jess! Alice! What the fuck is going on?!" I wanted to kill someone and both of them saw that. Alice stepped back and leaned on my truck, glaring at Jessica.

"Bella." Jess gritted her teeth, "Why don't you tell this little, annoying brat here to go away so I can talk to you?"

I shook my head defiantly, "Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of Alice." I feel Alice's satisfaction.

Jess groaned, "Fine. I wanted to tell you that thanks to you, no one will go out to Tony's with me anymore! They heard about what you did to Mike in gym class the other day and now their afraid that you'll do the same to them just by having a few drinks with me!" She screamed in my face.

Laughter bust out of my lungs, "That's all it took to spread the fear into those sexed-up, alcoholic, druggies? I should have done that to Mike sooner!"

She stared at me wide-eyed, but I just didn't care anymore. In fact, I almost wanted a fight. I wanted to release this built-up anger in physical violence. I wanted Jessica to lunge at me so I would have an excuse to punch her.

But her eyes welled up and her stance became more helpless, "I know...I know I shouldn't even hang out with them. I'm nothing like them."

Although I'd softened in reaction to her new-found self pity, I was still pissed. "You _are_ one of them, Jessica Stanley."

"Why would you say that?" She froze.

"Because it's true, hun." I tried to make her understand that I wasn't trying to hurt her, but she needed to know the truth. If hurting her was the way to do it, then that was fine too.

Jess instantly became enraged, "You don't know anything, you stupid, sadistic, fucking bitch!" Her tears disappeared as if they were never there at all and she stomped past me toward the buses.

I should never have let my guard down with Jessica. It was shocking to hear those words directed at me come out of her mouth. She'd never said anything like that before. I started shaking, not just because of her words, but because of my entire life. Everything seemed to crash down around me. I already knew Mike hated me, and the feeling was mutual. I found earlier that Edward hated me, and the feeling was definitely not mutual. And now Jess.

Alice wrapped her tiny arms in a strong hug around me, keeping me from falling into the pavement face first. I felt the first of the tears steaming down my face and into her short black hair.

"Edward hates me, too, now. And I don't even know why, Ali. He was so cold to me today. More than cold, he was intentionally hurtful and harsh..." I sobbed.

"It's okay, sweetie." She told me as if she knew.

"Why does it seem like all these people hate me, Ali? I don't understand! First Mike, then Jess, and now..."

"Shhh-Shhh...Everything is going to be fine." Alice soothed, "Mike hates everyone and Jess doesn't hate you. She's confused. And Edward...well I don't know just what _his_ problem is, but I'm sure he doesn't hate you either."

I tried to control myself and failed until I heard his voice.

"Bella?" The soft, sexy tone hit me like a truck. This voice was the reason for my pain.

I glared at him, "What do you want, asshole?"

Edward looked at me remorsefully and then the pavement, "I'm sorry." I'd been trying to hate him as much as he hated me, I was surprised at how I loved these words. I wanted to run to him, hold him, tell him it was okay, no harm done. But it would have been a lie. I went to him anyway, placing my hand on his firm arm and immediately felt my grief disappear. I wanted to do more than touch his arm, but I held myself back.

"Edward," I loved to say his name. It sent wonderful chills down my spine. The chills only intensified as he looked in my eyes, ""Don't you _ever_ do that to me again." He nodded, "And you're still an asshole until you prove me wrong, got it?" I tried to smile at him so he knew I wasn't too mad. He grinned back.

"I'll do anything you want." He quietly sung.

I released a tiny laugh, "Anything?"

He nodded, "Anything."

"I'm holding you to that, you know." I squeezed his arm unconsciously. This seemed to please him as his grin grew to a radiant smile.

"Counting on it, Bella." He whispered as our eyes searched for answers to unknown questions. I wanted to tell him to stay with me and never leave. I wanted to tell him to kiss me right there in the high school parking lot with everyone watching. I wanted him to hold me and let me fall asleep in his warm arms every night. But a quick glance to the filling buses told me he had to go. "The buses are going to leave without me."

"If you need a ride home, I can give you a lift." I nearly pleaded.

Edward warmed me with his amazing smile again, "Next time, okay?"

"Kay." I sighed as I pried my fingers from his arm, "See ya."

"See ya." He called while he ran towards the honking horns.

Alice let me vent about my entire day to her and she had some venting to do herself over Hershey bars and a tub of Ben & Jerry ice cream. Thankfully, neither one of my parents were home and Rose was at class, so we had the entire house to ourselves. I reluctantly let Alice do my nails and she let me talk her out of another shopping trip.

"You're still thinking about him, aren't you?" Alice accused me as she finished the last coat of red polish on my pinky.

"No." I lied.

"Yes, you are! I can tell! Besides, you're a horrible liar."

I shrugged, "Is it such a bad thing if I am?"

She giggled, "No, I think it's cute." Her tone became more serious, "But I'm still not sure about him. I think that there's more to him than you think."

"Ooooooh," I laughed, "Sounds so mysterious!"

"Hey, a little mystery is good in a relationship!" My nails were finally done. "So..." Alice put on her puppy-dog eyes, "Do you think Edward would be the kind of person you would take to a party?"

"Of course not! And whatever you're thinking, I'm not going either!"

She pouted at me, "Fine. Be boring and stay home."

I rolled my eyes and refused to say anything for a long moment. "What kind of party?"

The chair squeaked while she jumped up and down on it, "Valentines Party!"

"What? That's like a month away!"

"Yeah I know, I have to get started early ya know. A month's not that long."

I changed the subject. Besides, even after Edward apologized to me, I wasn't sure of anything with him anymore. I knew for a fact how I felt about him and I also knew that no matter how hard I tried, my feelings would never change. He was just so hard to figure out. One day, he makes me believe the sparks between us were real. Then the next he pushes me away with such force I felt like I fell off of a building.

The rest of the week went by much easier, without too much drama. Jessica and I ignored each other as we passed each other in the halls. Mike stayed as far away from me and my tennis racket as he could without running away. My parents hadn't been at home at the same time in two days. And Edward was really nice. I would say he was more than nice, but I'm sure that that would have just been my hormones talking. I have to say, for a virgin, I wanted Edward in so many ways, I blushed at my own daydreams.

Edward and I talked through biology just as we had at lunch the period before. He told me he loved mushroom and black olive pizza, Oreos, and those chocolate pudding snack packs. Tyler wasn't even close to his favorite person in the school and he'd always wanted a big dog, because little dogs are annoying. I told him that I hated my nails being done, I loved my piece of crap truck, and couldn't stand any other kind of skittles other than the purple ones. I loved grape flavored things, even though I wasn't crazy about grapes. We went on and on until it seemed we'd run out of thing to talk about. But I knew I was holding back on some things and I could feel like he was too. It didn't matter anymore, I didn't mind if it meant being closer to him.

"Favorite band." Edward shot at me.

"I have two: Ingrid Michelson and Muse. You?"

"Easy, AC/DC and Guns and Roses."

"Good bands." I complimented.

"Do you want to go out?" Edward said so fast I barely understood him.

"What?"

"Do you want to hang out?" Was that what he'd said before? I wasn't sure, so I didn't say anything about it.

"Sure!" I tried to control my quickening breaths, "When?"

"Well," He thought for a moment as a cute grin appeared on his face, "It's not a school night. How about tonight if you're not busy?"

Adrenaline pumped through my veins. "Yes! I mean, no, I'm not busy. Where do you want to meet?"

Edward smiled, dazzling me for a moment, I almost forgotten what we were talking about. When I came to my senses again, more important questions popped into my mind. Was this a date? Would he flip out on me again like he had only a few days ago? How would I keep from embarrassing myself? What does this _mean_?

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**Hehe...you know you hate me ;-) don't worry, I'll get the next one up soon. Promise. Any reviews? Love it? Hate it? Tell me so I don't think the worst!**


	5. Let Go

**Hey!! I'm so sorry it took me this long to get this up but first my boyfriend found out how easy it was to smash a laptop screen with his foot (yes, _my_laptop) so I had to get a new one. Then I started class at a new uni Monday (freakin big campus! Maybe just bigger than what I'm used to). But now it's up and I hope it's not a disappointment...wow, that's a new record on reviews on chapter four, six! sniffles I love you guys! You're completely awesome!**

**Anyway...enough of my blabber...enjoy!**

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Edward's POV

School on Friday went by in a speeding blur of excitement and thoughts of Bella. But I was also nervous and extremely apprehensive. This beautiful girl named Bella released feelings inside of me I never knew were there in the first place. I desired every aspect of her: her company, smart conversation, intoxicating gazes, the amazing smell of her hair, her electrifying hand on my arm…everything. I wanted to steal her away, leaving everyone and everything and never return. I felt like myself when I was around her, I was brought to life by her smile, and I was freed by the haunting images of my past. Even so, hesitation was still leaning over my shoulder telling me to keep my distance, it might happen again. The past is always doomed to repeat itself. I tried to ignore it.

Biology class had been so surreal. I still couldn't believe the words inviting her to hang out came out of my mouth. And even more amazing, I didn't regret it like I thought I would. I'd needed to let go, to stop trying to stay away from her, to stop trying so hard to be happy and just let it come. I needed to believe I deserved happiness even if it wasn't true. I wanted to be selfish and flip off the truth with the rest of the world. That wasn't going to stop me from being with Bella for as long as she still believed I was a good person.

When I got home, Esme must have noticed my drastic mood shift.

"Hey, Eddie, school go well today?" She asked cautiously.

I beamed at her, "Great!" That was an understatement. I was so elated about my upcoming time with Bella and realizations of my life, I could hardly stand still.

Esme's caution faded into her relief and she allowed a smile to cross her face. "Good!" She said with a little too much enthusiasm, "Tell me about it."

I don't know a single high school student who would actually sit down and talk to their parents about their day at school. Even if they did, there would be much to edit.

"Aced a math test," I hesitated, not knowing how she would react to my plans, "And I'm going out tonight." I tried to be nonchalant and swift so she wouldn't feel the need to interrogate me. I don't even know why I'd tried. It never works.

"Going out?" Worry swept back into her voice, "With who? Where are you going?"

Great, time for twenty questions. This was not my favorite game. "I'm hanging out with a girl from my biology class. We're going to that Italian pizza place. It's just right down the street from her house. And I won't be late coming home."

Her eyes widened in disbelief, "A _girl_?" She gasped, "Who is she? What's her name?"

I felt like her twenty questions were up, but oh well, "You would like her," I reassured Esme, "Her name is Bella. She's the chief's daughter."

She seemed to consider that for a moment and decided she was satisfied with my answer. Still, she felt the need to ask a few more questions and by the end of the Cullen Inquisition I felt it was about time to go. It would only take me a few minutes to ride to her house, especially on my motorcycle. I'd decided not to take my Volvo in case I had another episode. I knew cars were safer than bikes, I knew my fear was illogical. Regardless, it didn't make a difference in how I felt.

When I revved the engine, I knew I'd made the right vehicle decision. The exhilaration and freedom on my GXR was amazing. It released my mind and opened my eyes to things I would never see in my car. Everything was so beautiful here. I found the green so comforting. It was as if Mother Nature was reminding me that life goes on, that not everything can be black, and I was right to let go of my will power along with the past. The past is just that, the past, it's done, over, and there's nothing you can do to change what's happened. Nothing I could do to change what I'd done.

I didn't get extremely nervous till I arrived in front of her house.

"Why don't you just leave then?!" Someone yelled inside the house. It sounded like maybe Bella's father.

"That's a great idea! Maybe I _should_ just leave this fucking horrible excuse for a town!" That had to have been her mother screaming. I wondered if Bella was even in the house. I hoped not.

I stepped away from the front door, wondering what to do. Should I knock anyway? No, probably not. Besides, I didn't want to be in the middle of their anger. A small voice suddenly called to me from the second floor window.

"Edward?"

Bella was leaning halfway out of her window with a painfully stricken look.

"I will say whatever the hell I want to! And I'll do whatever the hell I want to!" Bella's mother continued screaming. I wanted Bella out of that house and away from the fighting. I wanted to protect her.

"Bella." Think, think, think. What could I do? "Can you jump from there?" I mentally kicked myself. Oh yeah, that's real safe, have her jump from a second story house. But it was all I could think of.

She nodded hesitantly and uncomfortably shimmied the rest of her body out of the window and positioned herself sitting on the sill.

"I'm going to break something." Her voice cracked.

"No, you won't." I reassured her, "I'll catch you, Bella." I stretched out my arms for her. I wouldn't have let her fall and get hurt.

"Go to hell!" The fighting continued inside.

That seemed to make Bella's decision for her and after slightly awkward shifting on the window sill, she reluctantly let herself fall into my arms with a soft yelp. It felt too nice having her in my arms to let go of her right away. I could feel myself becoming greedy with the way the electrifying bare skin of her arms felt on mine. This thought stunned me for a minute. I still didn't want to feel this way for her, even though I'd already agreed to myself to let go of all restrictions. It seemed useless to fight it but I still found myself trying.

Bella seemed just as frozen as I was, her eyes trying to tell me things I didn't understand or didn't want to know. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to hold her close to me and kiss every inch of her. This strong emotion also surprised me. I'd never felt the want, no, the need for anyone like that before. It was an amazingly powerful emotion. But I fought with myself once again and carefully placed her back down onto solid ground.

She gave me a sweet smile, "Um…" A blush, which only provoked my desire, filled her cheeks, "Are you ready?"

I could only nod, afraid my voice would break if I tried to speak.

Bella gave a hesitant look to my motorcycle on the side of the street in front of us, "We're not taking that, are we?"

I tried to reassure her with a smile, "No, I thought we would walk, if that's okay with you."

Her tension was almost visibly lifted, "Perfect."

Our walk to the pizzeria was relatively short. Adrenaline powered my walk to a swift pace. I kept trying to slow down, reminding myself that Bella's legs were shorter than mine and she probably wasn't use to my pace, let alone when I was driven by her very presence.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that." Bella suddenly broke our comfortable silence.

I looked at her, confused, "What do you mean?"

"My parents." She explained.

"Oh. That." I have no experience with family issues of that kind. So I fumbled over my words a bit, "Don't worry about it, Bella. Things like that happen." I hesitated, "Are you okay?'

Her deep breath told me that she wasn't okay at all. "Yeah, I'm alright."

"I'm glad." I still didn't believe her. She wasn't very good at lying, but I let it go anyway.

The pizza place was small with only a few tables. The sign simply said "**PIZZA**" in big bold letters with a smiley face directly below it. Even as we walked in, I wasn't too sure about it. The floors and tables were clean and the people were nice, but any small town pizzeria without a real name deserved some skepticism.

It took us a few minutes to order, mostly because she was fighting with me about the bill. I completely refused any nonsense about going dutch and insisted paying for both of us. Once we got our huge pizza, we sat at a table. I was pleasantly surprised when I started to eat the pizza. It was one of the best pizzas I'd ever eaten. It was thin but full of flavor.

The subject lightened from our last topic to general, more comical, issues. Like the fact that even though the posters promoting prom have been up since before Christmas, everyone is still too shy to ask anyone to the dance.

"Are you going to prom?" I investigated.

"No." She stated with a tone of finality.

I became perplexed, "Why not?"

Bella sighed, "If you saw me dance, or even in gym, you would understand. It's dangerous."

"That can't be true. You just need a good dance partner." I pointed out.

"That's true enough I guess," She laughed, "But you don't know me _that _well. I can screw up anything, and that's a guarantee."

I shrugged. I couldn't imagine her screwing up anything to the point of it being dangerous. "It's all in the leading, Bells. Even _you_ couldn't screw up a dance with a good leader."

"I'm not saying it's not possible," She admitted, "I'm just saying it's not likely."

"Not likely?"

"If I do go to a dance, hypothetically, I will not only be able to step on the toes of my dance partner, but also the people around me. This will result in breaking my dance partner's toes and then he'll never be able to walk again along with the countless number of other unfortunate people whom I'd also stomped on." She nodded, "That's why it's not likely you'll see me at a dance, because that _will_ happen to me."

I struggled not to laugh too loud, "I doubt your luck is that bad."

"Oh, yes, yes it is." She insisted, "There's no way to get around it. I'll have bad luck with everything for the rest of my life."

I had a feeling she was talking about something other than just dancing, something with a deeper meaning for her. Bella's eyes suddenly became a little sad. I instinctively swept her hand up in mine and let them lay on the cold table between us.

"Bella," Her hand tightened, grasping mine, making me almost forget what I was going to say, "Sometimes it's just the cards we've been dealt in life and there's nothing we can do about it. But it has nothing do to with your luck."

Her face became cold, "You don't know that and you don't know me."

The sudden frost in her voice startled me, "Then help me understand." I whispered, "I want to understand. I want to know you." I pleaded with her in earnest. I really did want to know everything, especially the things that made her sad so I could fix them for her. I felt this need for her to be happy and I knew I would do anything in my power to do so. But as she slid her hand out of mine and crossed her arms over her chest she almost seemed to blatantly refuse my request. Her weak smile, however, told me that she would at least consider it.

"Do you want to take a walk?" Maybe she just didn't want to talk here, in a public place. You never know who will be listening, particularly in such a small town.

Bella nodded thoughtfully and rose from the table. I followed her out the door and into the cool breeze. It ruffled her long hair, making it glimmer in the setting sun. I stayed beside her glimmering hair a short ways down the block and around to behind the pizzeria to a wide grassy area by a small river. It was beautiful in a certain way. I don't know whether it was beautiful in a small-town-hang-out-place kind of way or just because she was with me. There were several ducks waddling around together, picking things off the ground. I could see the highway from here but it was still quiet and almost serene. She led me over to a small play area and sat on one of the swings with a squeak from the swing's chain. I copied her lead and sat on the swing beside her, my eyes never leaving her contemplative face.

"What's wrong, Bells?" I asked softly. I didn't want to push her to tell me things she didn't want to. But I was curious as to what would make her act this way. I needed to stop surprising myself with my feelings for her.

Bella seized a big, loud breath and released it slowly, "I guess it's strange for me to know that I've just met you when it's seemed like you've been here all along." She kept looking at the river and the lines on her forehead deepened.

I was astonished. That thought never really crossed my mind, but I suppose I'd felt the same way. Now that we were together, without distractions like biology class or a noisy lunchroom, I was completely comfortable with her. It was as if I'd always wanted her, always known her, always felt these feelings for her, but they were latent, waiting deep inside of me.

"I know what you mean. It's like I've known you forever but I've only met you." I agreed.

She peeked at me and gave a tiny smile, "There's still so much we have to learn about each other."

"I suppose so." I guess it was a little hypocritical of me to want to know everything about her without telling her everything about me. But I knew I wouldn't be able to talk about my history even if I wanted to.

"I feel like we're holding back on each other." She almost whispered.

Again, she succeeded at confusing me, "What do you mean?"

Another sigh, "I know what your favorite color and band are. I know little quirky things about you and you know the same about me. Mostly artificial things. But there are things I haven't told you. And I feel that there are things you haven't told me either. I'm still not sure how I feel about that. I don't know if I even want to tell you some things and I don't know if I want you to tell me the things you're so hesitant to talk about."

I nodded. She was nothing if not perceptive. "You're right. Things had happened that…I don't know…I'm not sure if I _can_ talk about them. But I want to know everything about you, good and bad, it doesn't matter." I laughed at myself, "You don't have to, I just…"

"I want to. Just not today. And I want to know everything about you, but maybe some other time when you feel like you can." Her smile was genuine and caring. For some reason, at that moment, I wanted to tear her out of her seat, grasp her body strongly to mine and land the most passionate kiss on her perfect lips.

"Bella…" I groaned more for the desire for her than anything else. But I could only hope she saw something else.

"Edward…It's okay. Really." Thank God. She wasn't too perceptive.

The orange sun danced on the water in front of us as we swung gently. I wanted to tell her everything, but whenever I thought I knew how to begin, my mouth went dry, my mind started to spin, and the words never made it past my lips. So I gave up trying, just like before when I'd asked Bella to hang out with me or when I'd reconciled with her when I saw her crying in the school parking lot. It had killed me when I saw how much I'd hurt her. I never wanted to see her that way again, especially because of me. So I let go again and flew right in the face of rejection as I slid my hand over hers. The same shock of electric emotion overwhelmed my senses.

I stood off the swing and took a step towards her before I even knew what I was doing. Her hand still in mine, interlocked with my fingers, tightened. Her large dark brown eyes studied my movements coming closer to her and she stood to meet me. Then, instantly, her arms were around my neck and her face in my chest. I encircled my arms around her waist and held her tight against me. My cheek gently grazed her hair and I could smell the enticing strawberry scent that would surely keep me up that night. The soft strawberry hair swept across both our faces and danced on my neck sending goosebumps down my body. Her small hands moved from my neck and clutched into my back desperately. I didn't know whether it hurt or not, but I knew I loved it.

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**Sorry I had to do this to you guys, but I couldn't help it. Y'all should be use to my cruelty by now, but I guess that would make y'all masochists? Don't worry, everything will become clear very soon. I'm not _that _mean...I think. Hmmm, so you (yes, you the person reading this) should review so I don't go insane from watching my boyfriend's stupid hunting shows. Evidently there's some sort of killing season is coming up...yay...**


	6. Score, Edward: 1 Mike: 0

**Okay, so firstly let me just say that whoever leaked Midnight Sun on the Internet causing her to indefinately postpone the book is a really, really, really, really bad person and I would like to seek my revenge on them...well that's the polite and nice version of what I told my friend, Designerchick.**

**Also! If you haven't already, I would highly recommend you checking out her fanfic Tough Love (it's in my Faves)!**

**Lastly...I'm really sorry it's been taking me longer to write than normal. Classes started a couple of weeks ago and everythings just been chaos since (it's tough trying to keep that GPA up with all these classes and work!) But I might as well warn you now that it's not going to get any better. I will say that I'll try my best to post at least once a week.**

**Hope the wait was worth it!!**

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**Bella POV**

I couldn't stop thinking about Edward to come back down to reality. The sound of his voice, his hand holding mine, his smile…oh God his smile! What was he trying to do to me? Make me go insane? I wanted to call him and spend every moment of the day with him. I wanted to be held in his arms again, hear his sweet whisper…oh my dear sweet Lord…What if he turned out like Mike? I promised myself never to get into a situation like that. I sighed. I guess I break a lot of promises to myself.

Rosalie's fingernails tapped on my door.

"What." I answered bleakly. She always had the worst timing. I wanted to do a little more daydreaming.

She cracked my door open, "Did you call Alice?"

"Yes." I huffed. Alice called me about two thousand times this morning and left me just about as many messages, it seemed. She, of course, wanted all the juicy details from last night and bombarded me with questions when I didn't know what to say. Like, "_How did he hold your hand? Did he kiss you? Is he going to kiss you? Are you seeing him again? Why didn't you call me last night? Tell me everything!"_ I really did appreciate her interest in my love life, but it can be a little overwhelming with Alice.

"Good," Rosalie sighed with relief, "'Cause she called my cell phone too asking when you would be up and if I'd heard anything about last night." She shot me a mischievous grin.

"Oh, not you too!" I really didn't want to get into all of it again. What was their deal? They _had_ boyfriends. Couldn't thy just concentrate on _them_?

"Please!" She pleaded as she skipped across my room and landed on my bed, "I want to know what happened too!"

I groaned, "You're so annoying."

She beamed at me, "And you're a pain in my ass. Now spill it." Rose commanded. I don't know how Emmett put up with her demanding personality.

So, I reluctantly told her everything, from his motorcycle to holding hands to him holding me. She commented in all the right places, "Awww…How sweet!...Too cute…" which made me feel really good. We gushed about every gory detail.

"Did he ask you out again?" She was so excited, you'd think it was her experiencing everything.

"Not really. But it wasn't technically a date anyway." I admitted.

"Not a date!" She gasped, "Bull shit it wasn't a date! I don't care what you want to call it, that was most definitely a date."

I just shrugged. It's not like I didn't want it to be, but then again I kind of need things spelled out for me sometimes. Like if a guy flirts with me, I don't realize it until someone comes right out and tells me.

"Do _you_ want to go out with him again?" She eyed me curiously.

I hesitated, "I think so."

"Don't you know?"

"Well, yeah, I mean, I want to go out with him again. But…" But what if he didn't like me? What if he found out something about me that made him turn into the evil Edward again and leave me? What if—

As if she knew my thoughts, Rose interrupted my silent rambling, "Don't think you don't deserve him, because you do." She was giving me her caring "big sister" look.

"I'm not going to lie to myself." I choked.

"Is that what that son of a bitch did to you? Make you think you're not worth it?" I knew she wasn't talking about Edward anymore. But for some reason her words hurt me. I felt a stab in my heart at the memories of Mike's scorning words.

"I'm just saying that there are prettier, smarter girls out there that Edward should be with." I said flatly.

"Bull shit." She contradicted.

Mike's forceful comments argued with her in my mind, "_You're nothing. Just a stupid girl who can't even walk across a flat surface without falling on your ass. You'll never get into that college, you ignorant piece of shit." _I felt him slam into my cheek again. The pain burned on my skin, "_Don't cry, Bella," _He spat at me, "_It doesn't do you any good anyway. God, you're weak! You just can't do anything right!"_ I relived his hits over and over again.

"Bella, sweetheart…" Rose comforted me as she wiped my wet cheek with her finger, "Forget was that bastard said about you. You _are_ beautiful and you _are _smart and whatever guy is lucky enough to win you over will see that."

Her words soothed my pain slightly. But Mike's words were stronger, even when he was drunk. She didn't know the lies she was telling me, but I appreciated them anyway. They were beautiful, idealistic lies made for someone who knew the truth all too well. I wanted to believe my sister. Whenever I tried, though, I felt my cheek burn with the hurt again. The burn of tears and his fist was my constant reminder of reality.

"You don't know that, Rose." I sobbed.

"Yes, I do." She squeezed my hand, "I've known you for all your life. Mike knew you for a few months. I know what I'm talking about more than that low-life does."

I shook my head defiantly, "No." was all I could say. I thought that would cover everything: her lies, her truths, my thoughts, my memories, the pain of Mike's words, the pain of his punches. Through all of this, I still wanted Edward in my selfish way. I wanted Rose's words to come from him.

The thought of Edward calmed me and my tears evaporated. The serenity of the thought of his presence came to me with deep breaths.

"That's it, babe," Rose swiped the wet hair out of my face, "Everything's going to be alright."

I wasn't sure if I believed her or not.

Weeks passed and I was feeling more like my "pre-Mike" self everyday. I was laughing and smiling and having fun. I knew why this was happening. One word: Edward. He made me feel like nothing had ever happened with Mike. He made me feel beautiful and smart and all the things my sister told me I was and I loved him for it. The whole "boyfriend" versus "just friends" thing still confused me. We would go out, just me and him, and have the greatest time. Normally we would meet at the river behind the pizzeria and talk. But I could feel my attraction to him grow stronger. Hell, I'm just going to come right out and say it, I wanted to pounce on him. Every word that came out of those sexy lips of his only made me want him more. He was simply amazing.

But along with the good, must come the bad. My parent's fighting got worse. There were several nights that I couldn't sleep because of something crashing in the midst of their fury. It scared me. I wasn't afraid that I would be hurt, been there done that. But I was afraid that someone would actually walk out. It's hard to explain why I felt this way because I know that it would be better for Charlie and Renee to get divorced and stop the hatred. At the same time, though, the change scared me. I loved both of my parents, even if they were too preoccupied with themselves. But it couldn't last forever.

Rumors about Jessica circulated around the school and I swear if I'd heard one more I would explode. It was so hard not to talk to her even if I was completely pissed at everything she'd done. Thankfully, I had Alice. She kept me stable and knew what I was going through. She was the only one who knew everything about me and somehow she knew when I was having a rough time and would make me feel better about everything.

"Helloooo! Earth to Bella!" Speaking of whom.

I looked at Alice with a dazed look. Had she been talking to me?

"Huh? Sorry, I was thinking." I admitted. We were at lunch and, of course, Edward was sitting right next to me with his hand dangerously close to my leg. I could feel warmth spread throughout my body just thinking about it.

"Bella! Focus!" Alice yelled at me.

"What?" I said annoyed.

She sighed in frustration, "Valentine's Day? Party? Any of this sound familiar?"

_Shit_.

"What party?" Edward piped up. _Shit_.

Alice smiled excitedly at him, happy to have found the attention she wanted, "I'm having a Valentine's Day party on Friday!" Really? Did she have to tell him?

"I already told you I'm not going." I glared at her.

"Yes you are. You have to help me decorate." She gave me the puppy-dog eyes.

"I think it sounds like fun," Edward told me, "Why don't you want to go, Bella?"

I rolled my eyes at him, "For the same reason I'm not going to Prom." As if I needed to say more.

"You don't have to dance." Alice tried to get past my defenses.

I sighed and decided to ignore her. Pretending like I didn't hear Alice I stared around the cafeteria for the rest of lunch. There was no way I was going to that stupid party. They would have to drug me and drag my passed-out body there.

In Biology class, Edward couldn't seem to stay still. He was bouncing his leg nervously and kept stealing swift glances between me and the clock on the wall. What was his problem? Usually he was so calm and collected. But as class drew on, he only seemed to get more and more restless.

I ripped a piece of paper from my notebook carefully as to not draw attention to myself.

_What's wrong?_ I slid the paper to him with force. It was so frustrating not being able to talk in class.

Edward looked at the paper for a moment with an expression of what seemed like disbelief. His leg calmed to a stop as we wrote secretly.

Nothing. Why?

(I rolled my eyes.)

_You look nervous._

No I don't.

(I gave him a don't-lie-to-me look with a hard sigh.)

_Yes you do. Why?_

He paused for a moment to think of his answer, or rather his non-answer and wrote slowly.

I need to talk to you.

Shitshitshit! Why would he write _that_? You don't write that unless you have something bad to say. My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't remember how to exhale again to get it out. Numbness overcame me and I couldn't move anymore. I felt the chair underneath me, I felt Edward's heated arm resting on the cold lab table beside mine. But it wouldn't register in my mind that I was really feeling anything.

Questions reeled through my mind as to what I did wrong. Was he going to break up with me? No, that was ridiculous. We weren't even dating, so there's nothing to break up. What if he was moving away? That's easy, I'd go with him. I silently laughed at myself. Well that was even more ridiculous. Why would I go with him? We're not _dating_ even, let alone being anything serious. Okay, so I was trying to convince myself of this. In my mind, I was already his. Exclusively and completely. Silly, I know. We'd known each other for what, a month? And already I felt like I was always his, from the moment of my first conscious thought.

I jumped, startled, when the bell rang. I could feel myself struggle to breath. My lungs hurt along with my heart.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward's voice was saturated with concern and worry, "You look pale…uh…well paler than usual anyway." He tried to laugh a little, but I didn't think it was funny.

I took my time gathering my things. When I couldn't delay any longer, Edward followed me out the door and down the hall where we were greeted by a roar of laughter.

"I'm not fucking with you man. I'm outta here!" Mike said dangerously loud.

"If you're going to Tony's, we're coming too." I recognized the voice of one of the football players. I didn't know his name, but his team number was oh four and the only reason I knew _that_ is because he thought he was going to be another Bret Favre and play for Greenbay.

"What do you want to talk about?" I could hear myself say flatly, trying to ignore Mike and his friends. Once they were in view, I wanted to run the other direction crying. Mike and I had become masters of ignoring and avoiding each other and now he was walking straight towards us.

Edward looked more nervous now than he did before, "Um…it's no big deal," He told me, looking anywhere that wouldn't meet my accusing gaze, "It can wait."

"Edward," I said a little more coldly than I meant to, "Just spit it ou—"

Mike interrupted me by running straight into me, knocking my breath right out of me, with a sneer and cruel chuckle as an apology. My books scattered as I could feel myself almost break. I was _not_ in the mood for this.

Edward spoke up before I could while he picked my books up for me, "Hey, jackass! Watch where the hell you're going!" Wow. Just what I was going to say.

"What'd you say to me, Cullen?" Mike spat as he turned back towards us. I was frozen with fear, unable to even move away from him as he closed in on us.

"I said," Edward snarled fiercely, "Watch where you're going, jackass." He enunciated every syllable so it would sink into Mike's thick skull.

"What do you care, cockbite?" Mike shouted two inches from Edward's face.

"Don't push me." He hissed warningly, obviously restraining himself.

Mike's mocking laugh echoed down the empty hall, "Don't tell me you actually care about this little cunt—"

His mouth was stopped abruptly by Edward's fist smashing into it. I heard cracking and a couple of gasps from Mikes buddies who wouldn't dare get involved. Mike fell hard on the concrete, blood dripping from his mouth to his shirt. I didn't look long enough to see if he was still conscious, Edward was already leading me away from the scene.

As soon as we were around the corner we stopped walking and a few kids hurried past us to get to class before the bell rang again. Other than them, we were completely alone. I wasn't worried about being late to gym.

I frowned at Edward, "What the hell…why would you do that? It wasn't that big of a deal…"

Edward sighed, "I'm sorry, Bella." He stared sincerely into my eyes, "You shouldn't have seen that."

"It's okay." I said and then processed what had just happened a little bit more and started laughing softly, "Wow. You will not believe how happy it made me to see you smash Mike's face in like that!" Okay, so it's really not normal for me to be happy about someone else's pain. But this was a different story.

A small, hesitant grin spread across his lips, "And you wouldn't believe how good it felt. That…that…" He exhaled sharply, "I don't even know what to call him."

"Asshole, son of a bitch, jackass, dick, fucktard…" I suggested.

Edward raised an eyebrow, "Fucktard?" He chuckled, "Well that's a new one. I'm so happy to hear you've been increasing your vocabulary." He joked.

I shrugged, "I try."

"Okay, so that fucktard has been getting on my nerves for a while."

We were silent for a moment before I remembered, "You were going to tell me something before."

I borrowed my gaze into Edward's warm green eyes. He melted me. His smooth pale face curved in a sexy crooked smile at the same time the warmth in his eyes turned a little mischievous. I could feel my heart stutter and couldn't remember when I took my last breath. His reached for my hand and interlocked our fingers as the electric shock flowed through me from his touch. Instinctively, I tightened my grip on him hand and, without my permission, my body leaned towards his as if he was calling for me. I was drawn to him.

Edward bit his bottom lip lightly and I was suddenly jealous that I wasn't the one biting his lip for him. The bell rang, announcing our lateness, but I don't think he noticed either. I certainly didn't. I was too lost to notice anything but him and me, because that was all there was. I didn't need anything else in the entire world.

"Bella." Edward's deep whisper was a little huskily and thrilled me to my soul.

"Yes." I tried so hard to make it not sound like a moan.

"Bella," He repeated my name, I loved how his voice made it sound, "Will you go with me to Alice's Valentine's Day party?"

I was caught off guard. "You mean…" I hesitated to even say the word, "like a date?"

His smile brightened, making his eyes sparkle like the most precious emeralds, "No, not like a date," My heart dropped, "I want it to be undeniably exactly a date."

I was smiling like an idiot. A date with Edward Cullen. I didn't even care that he was taking me to a party, as long as _he_ was taking me, "I would love to, Edward." I said breathlessly. Breathing seemed to be very difficult for me.

"Good." He looked so relieved, "I was hoping you would say that."

Comfortable silence washed over us as we continued down the hall, hand in hand. I was glad though, I needed everything to sink in. We didn't walk too far down the hall before he stopped me again.

"Oh. Um…Bella?" Edward spoke up as if he'd just remembered something. I turned to him curiously. He gave me his amazing boyish grin again as he tucked my hair behind my ear, making my face burn a brilliant red when his hand swept across my face, and locked my eyes to his intense look, "Will you be my Valentine?"

There I was again, smiling like a damned idiot. I was speechless only for a brief second thankfully, "Yes!" I jumped up, wrapping my arms around his neck, hugging him, "Yes, of course I will!" Happiness filled me as I felt his strong, warm arms wrap around my waist, pulling me tight against his hard body and everything bad in my life went away. My parents, Jessica, Mike. They all went away. All I could think of was Edward. Good God he smelled wonderful too. What was he trying to do, give me a heart attack?

"Good." His body shook as he chuckled at my reaction, "I was hoping you would say that, too."

**ooooo...ahhhh...hehe...It makes me so happy when people review, thanks to everyone who did last chapter and to everyone who does this one too!! I love you guys!!**


	7. Confessions

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**I know, I know, I prolly should've waited to post this but I'm having an extrordinarily crappy dayso I figured, what the hell? Besides, you guys always seem to make me feel better!**

**(BTW: I did know about Midnight Sun being on her website and may I just say it was...FREAKIN' AWESOME!! But she could have at least stopped after the meadow scene...It would have been better...)**_

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_Edward's POV_

My hand hurt like hell after punching Mike, but it was nothing compared to the joy I felt with Bella. She was, to put it quite simply, amazing. She never ceased to surprise me with a question or comment or…making me feel wanted. I could only hope she felt the same, though I wouldn't blame her if she didn't. My thoughts reeled with timid questions. I considered, for a fleeting comical moment, writing her a note saying 'Do you like me? Check yes or no.' Too bad third grade behavior wasn't acceptable anymore.

"I can't go out tonight." Bella said, her voice surprisingly cold. It was Thursday afternoon and I was walking her to car, which seemed to have become my usual routine.

Her comment confused me. We'd hung out every night for the past few weeks, never missing an opportunity to be together.

"Is everything alright?" I asked, concerned. She did look a little paler than usual and she'd been very quiet since I'd asked her to Alice's party.

"No…" She replied without thinking, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just really tired, that's all."

Well, I couldn't argue with that. "Oh…Okay. Well, uh, give me a call or something if you change your mind."

She nodded as we reached her truck, but said nothing more. I stood there watching her, hurt. She struggled for a moment to shove her bags into the passenger side of the cab and clumsily hoisted herself up into her seat, revealing a large bruise on her left arm. I could only imagine how she got _that _one. There didn't seem to be a day where she didn't come out of gym unscathed.

"See ya." I muttered as I walked to the buses, though I knew she couldn't hear me over the unruly noise of her engine. Maybe I was right to keep my distance. Maybe I should have never let my guard down. Maybe…

"Hey, Eddie!" Alice chirped.

I took my seat beside her on the bus.

"Hey." I acknowledged her unenthusiastically.

She scrunched her forehead, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Do people _always_ lie when that question comes up?" She accused me.

I sighed and nodded, "Yes, yes they do." I admitted.

"Well…?" She pressed.

"Bella's acting weird. She hasn't really talked to me since I asked her out to your party tomorrow."

I would have thought that the very mention of her party would get her talking about decorations and how excited she is about it. But never underestimate Alice. Instead she became very quiet and when she did speak, her voice was slow, soft, and full of secrets.

"I think there's more to it than just you asking her to the party." The lines on her forehead deepened, "I talked to Bella about the other day. She _is_ excited to go with you." Her sincere eyes locked with mine, "She really likes you, ya know."

I could tell she was hiding something and I felt the maddening itch to know exactly what she wasn't telling me. If there was something bothering Bella, I wanted to know about it. "What do you mean there's more to it than that? What else is there, Alice?"

She studied my eyes for a long moment. I could practically see the battle she was having with herself.

"Look," She finally said, "I'm not about to tell you things that you shouldn't hear from me. But there's much more to Bella and her past than you know…Things that are really hard for her to talk about. Just know that her mood has nothing to do with you. In fact," She placed her tiny hand reassuringly on my shoulder, "I think that if it weren't for you, she wouldn't be doing as well as she is now. You've helped her so much more than you know."

I tried to make sense of what she was saying, "I'm confused."

"I know." Her voice was pained, "But I've said too much already. The rest of it will have to come from Bella."

The bus was almost to my house, but I just realized…"Wait…You said she really likes me?"

A knowing smile brightened Alice's face, "That's exactly what I said. But I swear to God if you repeat what I said I'm going to kill you." Her face turned to me again, "She _really, really _likes you, Eddie."

A smile of my own spread across my face and lightened my mood as I considered this. She _really, really _liked me.

"Thanks, Alice." I said as the bus stopped near my house.

"Anytime, Eddie-boy!" I heard her call behind me as I got off the bus. I needed to talk to Bella. I just needed to hear her voice, make sure she was still real because I still wasn't sure if I was dreaming.

_Pease enjoy the music while your party is being reached._ The automated voice told me.

_Don't wanna be an American idiot!_

_Don't wanna nation to dull the new media._

_Hey can you hear the sounds of the stereo?_

_The subliminal mind fuck America._

_Welcome to a new kind of tension_

_All across the idiot nation—_

"Hello?" Bella's voice whimpered. Was she crying? I couldn't tell.

"Hey." I said softly.

"Oh…hey." She sniffled, "Sorry about earlier, I had a lot on my mind."

Oh God, she was hurting! What had happened? "Anything I can help with?" I nearly pleaded with her.

She laughed without humor, "I don't think anyone can help right now," Before I could argue with her she went on, "I have to go…See ya tomorrow?"

"Yeah…sure." I agreed, obvious confusion in my voice.

_Click_.

Wow. What the hell was going on?

I tried to keep myself occupied, with the only comforting thought being that I would see Bella tomorrow. I needed her to explain everything to me.

_**Bella POV**_

I was still gripping my phone, letting the tears flow freely now. I really just needed to be alone for a little while. That was the only way I could think and figure things out. The other day had been so horrifically chaotic. After Edward punched Mike, which I was unbelievably ecstatic about at the time, shit hit the fan.

Mike decided not to skip the entire gym class after all. Instead he stayed close by until class was over…

_It usually took me longer to dress than the rest of the girls. My exceptional skill of injuring myself without anything dangerous around me, caused me to be extra careful while getting dressed. So it wasn't unusual that I was the last one out of the girls' locker room._

_I'd just climbed into my jeans when I realized I wasn't really alone. Someone cleared their throat behind me, obviously trying to get my attention. I expected it to be Lauren with another snide remark about how big my butt was. I turned to look irritable at her. My heart dropped and I froze. It was Mike._

"_I never got use to seeing you with only your panties on." He said with a smug smile on his face. Even from this distance I could smell the alcohol fuming off of his foul breath._

"_What the hell are you doing here, Mike?" I spat at him, "I thought Edward made it clear not to bother me anymore." I reminded him of the blood still drying his lip._

_He pulled back his lips, growling, "No one tells me what I can and cannot do, you little bitch." Mike crossed the space between us quickly and took a hold of my arm so tightly it made me yelp. "You got that?" He snarled in my face._

"_Fuck off." I'd intended to sound much tougher. In its place, however, my voice broke and shook along with the rest of my body. I'd been use to this before. It came back to me now, but I didn't think I could get use to it again._

_Mike's roaring laughter echoed throughout the locker room, "What did I just tell you about telling me what to do?" There was humor in his voice, but nowhere in his eyes. He squeezed my arm harder._

"_Stop it! You're hurting me!" I cried in pain._

"_Good." He chuckled, "Now tell that pussy-ass punk boyfriend of yours that he needs to respect power and stay away what is rightfully mine."_

_I glared at him in confusion, "What do you mean? What is rightfully yours?"_

_His face contorted in fury, "You are rightfully mine." He hissed._

_My mind went wild with emotion, "I'm not yours in any way, jackass! We're not together, don't you get it? I never was and never will be yours!" I screamed at him._

_He laughed again, "Oh, you're so cute when you get angry and lie to yourself." He leaned close to me slowly, pressing his body up against mine, forcing me to back up into the lockers. The locker handles stabbed into my spine, but he kept pushing himself up against me. We were cheek to cheek, his mouth near my ear. The stench of alcohol was overwhelming. "Don't you remember what we had, Isabella? It was so special." His body shook with suppressed laughter. He was enjoying himself, "You will always be mine."_

"_Yes, I remember what we had." I spat in his ear, "It was nothing but a waste of time. I should have never gotten involved with a cocksucker like you." I could hardly breathe to say the words with his body crushing me._

_A growl at the back of Mike's throat should have warned me to brace myself. Where were my reflexes when I really needed them?_

_He threw me away from him and into some benches by a nearby wall. It was a miracle I didn't crack my skull on the wall when I hit it._

_Another boisterous, condescending laugh, "Just remember what I said."_

_I could hear Mike turn to leave and listened to his loud footsteps going down the hall. Once I knew I was safe, I began to ache all over. I couldn't stop my groaning and gasps as I tried to stand up. My nerves were shot, my arm and back hurt like hell, and I was in a murderous mood I knew I'd have to get rid of before I saw Edward._

I wanted to call Edward back, tell him how sorry I was for today and that I wanted to see him as soon as possible. But I knew it was best to be alone.

I looked at the clock. Four o'clock. My family, if you could even call them that, would be home in a little bit. So, I took off. I left to find the only place which still held some peace for me.

_**Edward POV**_

I tried to keep myself occupied, but nothing worked. Studying held no benefit. I would simply start thinking about Bella and completely forget the last few pages I just read. I also attempted to play games on my computer. I lost every single game. The television never held much interest for me, so that was out. I couldn't even play the piano I was so distracted and bewildered.

I left my house, not knowing exactly where I was going, but the chilled air of wintery dusk felt good. I'd walked all the way to town before the sun started to set. That's when I realized where I was headed. I was going to the spot Bella and I would always go to when we hung out. To the swings by the river. It seemed to be the only place which held some sense for me now. Maybe I could figure out what was going on with Bella. That was all that was of any real importance to me.

I passed the no-name pizzeria and reluctantly smiled, remembering when Bella and I first hung out there. I wish she were with me now. She'd probably say how my black olive and pepperoni pizza was disgusting and I'd make fun of her pineapple pizza. Fruit on pizza is just wrong. I laughed silently. That's probably exactly what I would have told her too, just as I'd done dozens of other times. Then she'd start rambling on about how fruit makes pizza healthy.

I was just past the pizzeria when I saw her. Bella. She was sitting in her typical spot on the swings, staring out into the gleaming orange water. But I couldn't take my eyes off of her. As I got closer I could see her blotchy face, puffy eyes, and a stray tear racing down her cheek. I restrained myself from running to her, holding her in my arms, and attempting to kiss her tears away. I wasn't sure what I should do. She hadn't wanted to see me today for some reason. I still couldn't understand why.

I was fairly close to her and still at a loss for words. But she'd heard me and turned slowly to face me. Emotion filled her expression, allowing more tears to come, as she jumped off of the swing and leaped into my arms. Bella shook and trembled and sobbed with my arms wrapped tightly around her.

"What's going on, Bells?" I asked her after a few moments when I thought the tears had finally subsided.

She looked up from my wet-spotted jacket at me and bit her lip. "I want to. I jus…"

I pulled her hair out of her face and behind her ears, "Why won't you tell me?" I whispered softly.

"It's hard."She admitted, biting her lip again.

I nodding in understanding, "I know what you mean. But I think we need to get everything out. I now I do." I sighed, "I'm ready to confide in you if you are."

We sat in our spots on the swings as she told me everything. She told me about Mike and his struggles with alcohol. How he hit her…how he manipulated and lied to her. She even told me about Mike finding her in the girls' locker room the other day. I felt my blind rage pulling my hands into fists, ready for another fight with him. I was ready to kill. I don't think it would have bothered me if I'd killed him, it would have been a justified murder, a righteous kill. Every time she would mention his slaps or punches, I thought of ways to make him pay for what he'd done to her. Mike hurt Bella. That's all I needed to know. Everything else he had done, (the verbal abuse, the degradation), fueled my desperate need for revenge.

"Oh, Edward, it was terrible." Bella nearly sobbed through clenched teeth when she was done.

I could not let her suffer anymore. I swiftly took her in my arms, trying to protect her from the one thing I couldn't: her mind. It seemed as though her legs just refused to hold her slight figure upright any longer and I crumpled with her into the cold hard grass. I held her as close to me as I possibly could in our tangled awkwardness.

We were silent for a long time, sitting there holding each other. I ignored my cramping, burning muscles. I would hold her for all of time if I could have.

"Please," She begged into my jacket, "Tell me. Tell me about you. I want to know everything."

I nodded. I knew what she meant, which part of my life she wanted me to tell her. And for the first time, I was ready to tell it.


	8. Vindicated

**Yes, I'm finally done with chapter eight!! Hope y'all enjoy it!_

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_Edward's POV_

"_So, where are we going?" The strawberry-blond girl asked once we were in the car. She was still wiping her tears in an attempt to dry her face._

_I shrugged, "Your choice, T. Tonight's your night." I'm not an expert on comforting girls when they're upset. But I figure if it's her choice, she can't be mad at me for making a wrong decision. I started the engine and cranked up the heater. It gets fucking cold in Colorado Springs._

_Tonya smiled at the thought that we would do whatever she wanted. Usually I fought her the entire time. "Well then," She glanced at the clock, "it's still early and I want pizza." Good God she could be demanding. I would find that unattractive in most people, but Tonya was so cute when she was ordering people around._

"_Pizza it is then." I already knew where she wanted to go. There's only one place to go for really good pizza: Fargo's._

"_Thanks for coming to my rescue, Eddie." She spoke up after we'd been driving through the city for a minute, "I didn't know what to do." She was constantly confusing me with a knight in shining armor. Trust me, my ancient red Nissan Maxima was hardly a noble steed._

"_That's what friends are for, T." I said nonchalantly._

_I heard a half-hearted laugh next to me, "I guess you were right, huh? About Demetri, I mean." Tonya sighed heavily, "And you never even rubbed it in."_

"_Yet." I corrected._

_I'd told Tonya for the past two months that that Demetri guy was bad news. Most Italian exchange students are. Sure, he was a good-looking guy, but he knew it. He also knew that every girl wanted him, not just Tonya. I didn't even trust him when he told Tonya he loved her. Sure, she was happy. But then she found out that he was making every other girl at our school even happier behind her back._

_She laughed, "Right."_

_Fargo's had the greatest atmosphere of any restaurant I had ever been in. Everything was decorated in late 1800s fashion, even the employees. The two story building was decked out with an arcade, a player piano, a huge fire place, and a gigantic chandelier in the middle of the main room. We sat on the second floor with a massive pizza between us._

"_Pizza makes everything better, doesn't it?" Tonya sighed with a full mouth._

_I nodded and grunted in agreement as I tried to see if I could fit an entire slice into my mouth without choking. I succeeded. Then ragtime music filled every empty space with its energetic tune. Someone had started the player piano. I could hear laughter coming from the piano's direction. Probably some little kids taking enjoyment of watching the black and white keys go up and down with no human player there._

_I smiled and tried to look over the railing to the first floor at the group of kids, "Looks like their having fun. I remember when we use to do that when we were in elementary school." I chuckled, "Do you remember that? It freaked you out so bad I had to pretend I was playing it and not your imaginary ghost."_

_A wistful smile crossed her face, "Yeah. Then you learned how to play for real." She stared at the pizza in her hand as if wondering if she really wanted it, "I love it when you play the piano.__ It's so comforting, makes me thinks there's hope."_

"_Hope for what?" I asked curiously._

_"Everything. The world. The future. Us."__ She said softly._

_"Us?"_

_"I'd always hoped, well wished really, that we would...I mean, if we ever could..."__ She attempted to laugh it off, __"But...oh well."_

_I should have said something, but I couldn't. I didn't know what to say. I knew exactly what she was thinking about and it hurt me to know she was thinking it. Maybe in a different life we would have been together and in love. But the love I felt for her was not the kind she wanted from me. She was like the sister I never had. But to her I was not a brother. She'd made all of this very clear to me a while ago. I just can't help the way I felt. Tonya, sweet and loving as she was, was not the one for me. I would always be there for her, bail her out of things, kick someone's ass when they hurt her, but no more than that. There could never be any more to it than that._

"_I need a drink." Tonya said wearily after a while of silence._

"_I'll go get you another Pepsi." I said as I reached for her glass._

"_No." She stopped me, "I mean a real drink."_

_The look on her face told me she wasn't kidding and she needed something to numb the thoughts in her mind. "C'mon. Let's get outta here then." I quickly paid the check and we were off to a little place called Jack Quinn's. I know, I might not be Irish, but I like the atmosphere there…and they don't card._

"_Sooooo…" Tonya said comically when we were almost at the pub, "I'm guessing things didn't work out with Lauren."_

_I rolled my eyes overdramatically at her, "It didn't work the first time with Lauren, what makes you think it will work the second?"_

_She huffed, "She told me you two were going out tonight. That's why I was so surprised when you were home."_

_I was silent, trying to keep a blank face._

"_What…did…you…do?" She pretended to be upset with me._

"_I didn't do anything!" I said in speedy defense, "She's the one who has to call me all the time and tell everyone how she loves me and how we're going to get married! I've known her for like a month for God's sakes!"_

_Tonya thought about this, "So…you broke up with her?"_

"_Weeeell….not exactly." I confessed. I could feel her glaring at me, "If she asks, I was very sick today."_

_She erupted with laughter, "Really? You told her you were sick? That's so lame, Eddie."_

_I shrugged, "It doesn't matter anyway. It's just a waste of time."_

_Thick silence replaced the humor for a moment before she spoke again. "Why do you run away from people like that?" Tonya's voice was so small._

_"What do you mean?" I was suspicious of her tone. It was like she was trying to make a point, but couldn't come out and say it directly._

_"Well,"__ She shifted her weight slightly uneasily,__ "Whenever someone tries to be friendly with you, you push them away. Why do you do that?"_

_I shrugged again, nonchalantly, __"I don't know. I guess I just figure if I make friends with someone they'll probably move away or I'll move away or...I don't know. I just know something's going to happen."_

_Tanya laughed humorlessly, __"So, you're just trying to protect yourself by denying yourself friends? That doesn't seem fair, Edward."_

_"You're my friend.__" I pointed out._

_She nodded in agreement, __"And I'll always be your friend. Forever. No matter what."_

_"I know, Tanya."_

"_But that doesn't give you the right to blow off a nice girl like Lauren." Her voice was chiding._

"_She's not the one for me, T. Why should I go out with her when I already know that?"_

"_How do you know she's not the one for you if you don't give her a chance?"_

"_I just know. When the right girl comes along I'll know it." I said confidently, peeking over at her thoughtful face._

_This was not the first time we'd had this conversation. We say almost the exact same things whenever there's some girl who decides she's going to pursue me, which is too often for my liking. Tonya worried about my happiness simply too much. It's just that I can't always explain my logic to her, especially on this topic. The girl I want to spend the rest of my life with is going to be different. She's not going to be the cliché all girls think they should be: two-faced, fashionable, and giggling too much. I needed someone more down to earth than that, someone who knows who she is and isn't afraid to speak her mind. As far as I could tell, it was a lost cause trying to find this dream girl. I might as well just give up and not be with anyone at all._

_The bar was packed. Bodies pressing against each other in a sweaty mess made it nearly impossible to get to the counter to order our drinks._

"_Heeeey!" Peter, the bartender, called to us with a huge smile, "Long time, no see, my friends! What can I get you?"_

"_Get me whatever your darkest lager is." I told him._

"_Raw tea." Tonya ordered._

"_No problem!" He always seemed a little too cheerful. I think they do a little toking in the back room before work._

_We sat at the bar and listened to the live Irish-punk bands, who sounded a lot like the Drop Kick Murphies. It was too loud for any decent conversation but I'm sure it was better that way. We'd done a lot of talking today, in my opinion, and a break from it was welcome. The music mixed well with the beer and I was surprised when I'd realized I'd just finished my third one. But, what the hell. I didn't feel it yet and another one's not going to kill me. So I kept drinking them. I think I'd had about six or seven in the time it took Tonya to drink her one raw tea. She was a very slow drinker. She always said that she wanted to enjoy her drink instead of inhaling it all up and making her sick._

_I watched Tonya for a little bit in amazement. The colored lights danced across her pale face and over her reddish blonde wavy hair. She seemed completely content, focusing on the current band and her drink. There was no sign of stress in her. This made me smile. It seemed like it had been so long since I'd seen her happy. Her large, light colored eyes found mine and gave me a quick wink while lighting up with a smile._

"_You ready to get going, Eddie?" Tonya mouthed to me. I nodded._

_It was freezing when we got outside._

"_Look! I'm a dragon!" Tonya sung and she took a deep breath and let it out forcefully so I could see her white breath swirling up. Sometimes she could be such a kid. It made things interesting; she was always random and surprising. Or maybe it was just the Smirnoff in her tea._

_I laughed, "Oh! Spare me!"_

_She suddenly had her arms wrapped around me, "Don't worry, Eddie, I would never freeze you with my icy breath." Instantly, her legs slipped out from under her and she was sitting on her butt on the pavement. "Ouch! That hurt…fucking black ice."_

_I tried to help her up, but I was laughing so hard I landed flat on my face beside her, on top of the burning cold invisible ice. Once we made it to our feet, it was a dangerous journey to the car. We clung to each other, trying to stabilize our footing as we reached her side of the car. I think I must've slipped again when I went to the driver's side because my head hurt like hell when I got in, though I didn't really remember if I did. It was a challenge just to get the key into the ignition with my shaking hand and slightly blurry vision. Somehow it got in and the engine coughed a little before deciding to run smoothly._

"_Heat!" Tonya demanded even though I'd already turned it all the way up._

_I convinced myself that I really couldn't feel the alcohol in my system anymore and deemed it safe to drive Tonya home. I remember thinking how weird it was that things kept on suddenly appearing right in front of the car, scaring me shitless. Or how I couldn't quite get my vision clear. I was just tired, that was all. My reflexes seemed alright. Everything else was just going amazingly fast, I couldn't keep up. The streetlights zipped past the windshield and I had to fight with myself to not stare at them in awe. I'd never noticed how pretty the lamps were before. Then a car appeared out of thin air beside me, making me jump ten inches out of my seat._

"_Are you okay?" Tonya held my hand, squeezing it with concern._

"_I'm fine. Just tired." I hoped I sounded convincing to her at least. I turned my head to her and searched for her eyes to reassure her._

_My hand stupidly decided to go the opposite direction of my head._

_BEEEEEEEEP!! The car next to me demanded my attention._

"_EDDIE!!" Tonya screamed._

_I looked around me. Somehow I turned up in the middle of oncoming traffic. Lights. There were so many lights and I couldn't understand where they all came from. Streetlamps and headlights were coming straight for us._

"_SHIT!" I yelled as I jerked the steering wheel to the right as hard as I could. The car spun out of control down the interstate towards oncoming traffic._

_SCREEEEEECH!!_

_Cars all around us were swerving and honking and trying to stop in time. But there was nothing I could do. I couldn't gain control of the car, as hard as I tried, and I couldn't think. Tonya was still screaming my name in the passenger seat, I shared her fear and sobs._

_With a powerful jolt and the sound of smashing glass, we were flying in another direction. The force was too much for me to stay in my seat and I was flown towards the windshield. I could only hear the glass shatter, along with a thousand other sounds, but I couldn't hear Tonya's screams anymore. Where was she? Maybe if I opened my eyes…no…I couldn't open them with all my strength I had left. I could feel the pavement smack my body. I could feel the swooshing air of the car tires missing my head by inches. But I felt nothing else. There was no cold, no pain, nothingness._

_I tried to reach out in front on me for Tonya. But I'm not sure I actually moved. Had she put on her seat belt? I never noticed. I felt my dulled mind panicking. Why couldn't I hear her anymore? Where was Tonya? What happened to Tonya? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED??_

_Then, there was absolute nothingness. No more sounds, no more feeling. Everything was black._

_Beep…beep...beep…beep…beep…_

_I don't know how long I slept. It was like I'd just woken from a horrible nightmare, but the sounds of my mother's cries not very far from me told me that this _was_ my nightmare. It hasn't ended. It will never end._

"_Edward?" My father's voice came from above me, "Edward, are you awake?" For the first time, I felt his hand in mine, clutching it so hard I felt as if it would break._

"_Tonya." My throat erupted into a thousand flames as I tried weakly to speak._

_Carlisle, my father, moved from his chair and was back pressing Styrofoam to my lips. I let the ice chunks fall into my mouth, let them melt, and swallowed. It felt so good, I would have drunken an entire gallon of ice water in one chug._

"_Tonya." I persisted._

"_Edward?" My mother was in my room now. "Oh, Eddie!"_

_I finally managed to slowly open my eyes and look up at my parents. They looked so happy. My mother, Esme, was crying joyfully and Carlisle was smiling down at me._

"_How are you feeling, son?" Carlisle said in his doctor voice._

"_Fine. Where's Tonya?" I demanded now._

_I saw a look of grief cross Esme's face, while Carlisle kept his smooth. He pulled a chair closer to my bed and sat in it, never looking away from my eyes._

"_Tonya…" He tried to gather his thoughts, "fought for as long as she could. But she couldn't fight anymore, Edward."_

_When what he was telling me sunk in, I fell apart. My heart sent shrilling pain throughout me, locking my joints and muscles. My body was burning with torment and throbbing pain from my injuries. I would not believe this lie that he's told me. I could not believe it, ever. She was a fighter, she would never stop. There wasn't anything that could stop her. She was strong and beautiful and God would never let anything that wonderful die._

_Die. Oh my dear Lord she's dead. My Tonya…my little sister…_

"_No!" I roared, "She's not d-…she'd not de-…" I couldn't even say the word. It was as if it choked me every time I tried, "She's not!"_

_I tried to move. I had to get out of this godforsaken bed to go see her. I had to see her alive. Where was she? But I was in too much pain. Everything hurt, especially my legs._

"_Edward!" Carlisle hissed sternly as he held me down. "Stop it, Edward. You cannot do this to yourself right now."_

"_TONYA!" I screamed in hopes that if she heard me she would come to me._

"_Stop, Edward, stop!" Carlisle forced me to look at him, "Stop." Then he slid his arms around me and started sobbing on my shoulder, being careful not to hurt me. Esme came silently to the other side of my bed. I could see that she'd been crying for a long time. She sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped her thin, long arms around the both of us._

_I slept most of that day and the next. I was so confused and hurt and in physical pain, I couldn't do much else. I ate when they told me to eat. I swallowed the pills when they told me to swallow. And I slept when they were out of things to tell me to do._

_My parents came every day. I guess that didn't take much effort on Carlisle's side since this was where he worked. But Esme was sure to come and stay for almost the entire day, though we really didn't talk about much._

"_Edward. I need to know what happened." Carlisle told on the second day. Or was it the third? To be honest, I didn't even know how long I'd been here at all._

"_Dad…" I looked into his serious eyes, "I don't even know what happened. I told you everything I can remember."_

_He nodded lowly, "I just wanted to make sure nothing else came back to you." He sighed as he sat in the chair beside me._

"_Dad." I whispered, "What happened to Tonya?"_

_The crease in the middle of this forehead deepened. "You hit a patch of black ice when your car drifted over into the other lane and you were hit by another car in the middle of your spin. You went through the windshield. But Tonya was wearing her seatbelt so she was still in the passenger seat. But the other car hit her side and pinned her in. Two other vehicles were involved with the accident. By the time the other drivers stopped to help, there was nothing they could do. Tonya was pinned, only slightly conscious and bleeding internally." Carlisle grasped my hand. "Of course, when the firefighters got through the wreckage we life-flighted her to the hospital. We did everything we could. Everything…" His eyes started to water, but did not cry._

_I was numb. My body, my senses, my emotions were all numb. It got to the point that I almost wanted to stab myself just so I could feel something. This was my fault. I shouldn't have even gone into that bar, let alone get wasted. I drowned in self hatred before, during, and the foreseeable future after Tonya's funeral. I was in my own personal hell with no hope to get out of it. There was no color, no flavor, no kindness left in my world. It was just cold shades of grey I'd have to endure in my numbed state. Every day I woke up I woke in my own bed and was disappointed to see I was still alive. It's not that I loathed my life, I didn't have enough energy for that much emotion. I simply didn't care about anything anymore._

"_Edward, did you hear me? I said we're moving." Carlisle's voice broke my thoughtless trance._

_I looked at him blankly, "What?"_

_He sighed, as he did so often recently, "I got a job offer in Washington."_

"_Washington?" I must have sounded like a complete idiot. Nothing was getting through to me. Moving to Washington? It just didn't make sense to me. We'd always been in the Springs and Tonya was here. How is it possible to go somewhere else?_

"_Yes," Carlisle said patiently, "Washington. I need to be out there in a couple of weeks."_

"_But…" I tried to make sense of everything, "We can't move to Washington."_

"_We can and we will, Edward." He reached across the table we were sitting at in our dining room and took my hand. The contact surprised me, but not enough to warrant a reaction, "It's time to move on."_

"_Move on? Move on to what, dad? A new place doesn't mean a new life. Nothing will have changed." I said in my usually monotone._

"_No, but it's a clean start."_

_I grumbled my displeasure about the move the entire time. My parents were lucky I didn't have the energy to really fight them. What did it matter anyway? Tonya would still be just as dead in Washington as she was here._

_Tonya. I could still hear her sometimes. It's weird, trust me I know. But I could hear her voice trying to make me smile or laugh. I knew it wasn't really her, of course, but I wished._

_When we got to the shitty little town of Forks, I actually liked it. The town matched my mood perfectly. It was cloudy, rainy, and cold. Perfect. It only made things better when we passed a bookstore on the way to our new house. It was a little piece of heaven in this place that took the form of my hell. I went to the bookstore as soon as I was able to._

_I walked down the streets of Forks, hoping to run into the bookstore. I walked everywhere nowadays, I couldn't even think about driving without wanting to vomit. But, in this town, everything was so close together that it wasn't out of place to walk everywhere. I found the store in record time. I think that even if I didn't have a clue where it was, I would have still found it. Yeah, Forks was that small._

"_Hi!" The girl at the front counter chirped when I entered the store. She smiled brightly as me, so I felt forced to smile quickly back at her before instinctively going straight to the piano sheet music._

_The store might have been small, but they were well stocked on all my favorite music. I was shocked to see they had __Brahms's requiem__, one of my favorite pieces._

_The store door jingled._

"_Considering all the times you've been in here the past week," The front desk girl greeted the newcomer, "I think you need a vacation."_

_Purely sweet laughter came floating towards me, "You're telling me!" The girl replied in her smooth, sensual voice._

_Curiosity got the best of me and I looked up to see her through the bookshelf separating us. Her luminescent fair skin was accented by her rich, dark chocolate hair. She was small, slender, yet there was something about her…strength inside of her. Or maybe it was just a façade, I couldn't be sure. But I was drawn to this mesmerizing, book-loving angel. I watched as her large, curious, almond eyes searched the shelves only for a brief moment, and then I tried my best to concentrate on the book I was holding. The only thing I could concentrate on was the memory of the beautiful girl and the knowledge that she was no more than five feet and a bookshelf away._

"_Edward!" Esme called for me at the front of the store. Great, she found me._

"_Coming." I called back as I decided to take one more glance at my living poem._

_I froze when I saw she was staring back at me. Her captivating, soul-searching eyes looked a little awkward. But mostly, she looked just as trapped as I was by some unexplainable force, entangling our gazes together. I needed to go, I knew that, but I didn't want to leave. This little seraph, this amazing girl I was gazing into was giving me peace, peace I hadn't had in a very long time. I felt safe and everything was okay for the moment. Her eyes were the shelter from the storm inside of me and if I left I would be caught up in its violent winds again._

_"Come on, Edward, we need to get you registered for classes so you can go to school tomorrow." Esme reminded me kindly._

_I tore myself away from the unknown girl, breaking our connection, to join my mother at the door. I took my chances at taking one last look through the glass door at her. Once she was out of sight, I felt isolated. But at the same time, I felt better than I had before I went into the store, before I saw her. There was a little more color in the world and I was seeing it for the first time._

--

I stopped talking. All I asked was for Bella to understand and not freak out on me or something. My face flushed as the silence lengthened. What was she thinking? God, I wish I could read her mind sometimes; it drove me crazy not knowing.

We had gotten into a comfortable position, sitting on the wet grass with her in my arms. She was concentrating on the grass in front of her very intently, as she had been for a while. But then, Bella turned to face me, staring into my eyes. I'm not sure what I saw in her eyes. Relief? Love? Sympathy? Maybe, maybe not. All I know is that I did not see fear or hesitation.

"Bella, I-" I started, but she stopped me with a finger over my lips.

"I think we've done enough talking for one night, don't you?" Her whispered words caressed my heart, making it beat wildly.

I don't know what came over me, and to be honest, I don't really care. I leaned into her heated body, letting my lips lightly graze hers. I welcomed the shock of pleasure it gave me, more intense than anything I'd ever felt before. I hesitated, hovering just above her lips. We were both breathing heavily as her hand crept up my chest to the back of my neck, giving me the most amazing chills and goosebumps all over my body. I was sure she could feel them.

Bella pulled me down softly, closing the short space between our eager lips as I held her tighter, bringing her closer to me until there was no distance between us at all. Her fingers tangled themselves in my hair as our lips molded together perfectly, moving as one, giving me the most immense pleasure I'd ever known. I could feel the blissful heat washing over my body, especially in certain areas. I'm sure she could feel that as well. I would have felt embarrassed, but I wasn't. In fact, it only made her more aggressive. Our tongues met and I almost completely lost control of my self control.

I didn't want to, but I knew I had to slow down. I began to tenderly kiss her supple lips over and over again. She seemed to understand we had reached my limit and slowly pulled her fingers out of my hair and let them gently land on the sides of my face. I kissed her blushing cheeks, forehead, nose, and when I was done I couldn't help but wonder how I was going to sleep tonight. Probably not very well, especially after the very cold shower I was going to take.

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I'm sure y'all won't be surprised to know that the pizza place and the bar in CO are real. In fact Fargo's was one of my favorite places to eat when I lived there. I even found some pics of them, their on my user page!

I hope the chapter wasn't a dissapointment! Let me know what ya think!! (Thank you to everyone who reviewed my last chapter - I got really excited that you guys were looking forward to this chapter...but trust me, it's not even close to being over yet, there are a lot more twists, turns, and black ice left in this story!)


	9. Setting Up for More Than a Party

_**Bella POV**_

_Bzzzzz…Bzzzzz…Bzzzzz…_

"Ashhoooole." I groaned unintelligibly in my sleepy state. I reached for my phone, though I had no idea where it was. I thoroughly checked its usual place by my pillow when I realized the vibrations were down by my feet. I lazily made my way to my feet to retrieve my phone and rolled my eyes when I looked at who was calling.

"Whaaaaaat do you waaaaant?" I whined into what I thought was the right end.

"Do you know what time it is?" Alice was way too awake, "You need to get your butt over here to help me decorate for the party!" God, I think she had coffee. That should be illegal.

I looked at my clock. It was only ten o'clock in the morning on a weekday that we were skipping school. Of course, the entire reason for skipping was to set up for the stupid Valentine's day party, but any excuse is a good excuse. "Ali…it's still in the A.M. and you're awake. I should shun you."

Energetic giggling came from the other end, "Yes! And the party's only a few hours away!"

"It's like eight hours away. That's more than a few. I'm going back to sleep." I declared, already starting to doze again.

"Nope, nope, nope! You get up right now, missy, or I'll call Rose and tell her to throw ice water on you." She threatened. The sad thing is I knew she'd do it and Rose would be more than happy to oblige. Those little sleep-hating whores.

"Hun, I had a really late night last night. Can't I sleep for just a little longer?" I knew she could understand the mumbles I could barley understand myself.

"Okay, but then you have to tell me why you had such a late night," She gasped, "Were you with Edward?!"

"I get to sleep. You said so. Call ya later…" I hung up before she could start squealing.

It felt worth it at first to trade a little more sleep-time for information I knew she was going to drag out of me anyway. Why fight it? But as much as I wanted it, sleep was lost to me now. I slowly rolled out of bed, almost falling out of it, when last night came back to me. I was with Edward. I mean, I was really with him. We had no façades to hide behind now, no secrets to keep from each other, no unwanted confusion about where we stood with each other. And I wanted more. I wanted more of him than I had ever wanted anything else in my life.

I tried to put these thoughts on hold as I checked out my closet in an attempt to find something decent to wear to the party. Nothing seemed quite right. All I had were crappy jeans and crappier shirts. I wanted to wear something special tonight…for Edward. Maybe even something a little sexy. But I just continued to throw my clothes all over my floor, bed, and computer desk in hopes of finding something amazing lingering in the back of my closet. Of course, I'm not that lucky. So, there was only one option left for me. The one option I swore I would never use because it would leave me embarrassed and uncomfortable and fashionable. I would have to sell my soul to…

"Rose? Can I ask you a favor?" I asked sheepishly when she let me into her room.

Her eyes became slits of suspicion, "What." It wasn't a question, more like a demand to speak.

"Um…I have no clothes to wear to the party tonight." I must have still been half asleep because that sounded way more profound in my head before I said it.

Rose rolled her eyes, "Well of course you have nothing to wear, dork. Your closet is filled with things from Wal-Mart and Target." She made tsking noises with her tongue, "Damn shame, but what's your point?"

I shifted my weight slightly, "Will you help me out or not?" My voice was a little defensive.

She seemed thoughtful for a moment, which surprised me because normally she was quick to make decisions and judgments. When she finally did speak, her voice was sincere and full of understanding, "Is that boy you like going to the party?"

"His name's Edward," I shot at her automatically, annoyed that she didn't make an attempt to remember his name. I paused. How did she know I liked him? I guess she was paying more attention to my life than I'd given her credit for, "and yes, he's going to be there."

She nodded with a wicked grin, "Then yes, I will attempt to help your poor excuse for fashion sense and make you look amazing for tonight."

It took nearly two hours for Rose to choose the perfect outfit for me and poke and prod the rest of me to her liking. In the end, I was stuck wearing a pair of her designer ripped dark jeans, a golden long sleeved top that slid off my shoulders, and matching heels. I could have kissed her for not putting me in one of her many skirts, but I was a little pissed about the heels. She also let me borrow one of her more expensive jackets. Rose put my hair up in hot rollers while she did my makeup. I'd never really worn makeup before, so I was more than a little anxious for her to finish.

"Close your eyes!" Rose hissed at me for the millionth time. I did as she told me and tried to be still as she put more eyeliner on me. "Stop fidgeting, Bell. You look great. Don't worry." She kept on trying to comfort me. Nothing worked, I was still so nervous. I could feel every minute that counted down to the minute I saw him. I could almost smell him already, that sweet, musky-like cologne he must wear.

"Aren't you done _yet_?" I said, reminding myself of a little kid.

"No. Stay still!" She commanded. "Ya know, I really like these colors on you. Maybe I'll do the same thing with my makeup for tonight."

"What are you doing?" I yawned. Rose was always doing something, so I didn't really care what she was doing on this particular night.

"Girls night out. There's suppose to be a kick-ass party or rave or whatever in Seattle tonight."

I frowned, "You're going to Seattle without me?"

She laughed, "Oh please, once I said the word 'party' you would have jumped off a cliff to get away from me for fear I would actually take you!"

"Well that's a bit of an exaggeration."

"Maybe, but not by much." I could hear her smirk.

"Done!" She said, relieved, "Take a look!"

I opened my eyes and found the mirror. I looked harder in the mirror. Who the hell was _that_? I knew it was me, but it was just so hard to believe. The girl looking back at me had a gorgeous glow in her skin. Her lips were a sensual pinkish bronze color that seemed to shimmer in the light. But the focal point of her face was definitely her eyes, lined in a subtle dark purple and highlighted with pink, gold, and brown with luscious eyelashes. Then I realized…

"Holy shit! That's me!" I gawked and Rose literally almost fell on her butt laughing.

"Well of course it's you, silly!" She smiled, very proud of herself, in the mirror at me, "I did good, didn't I?"

All I could do was nod dumbly as she proceeded to spring my hair out of the rollers and let them fall in loose ringlets past my shoulders. Her fingers played with the curls until they became slightly messy and spritzed hairspray here and there so it would stay put. I didn't even know my hair would do that!

Rose had barely finished when my phone rang again.

"Are you up yet?" Alice almost screamed into my ear.

"Yes, I'm up!" I countered defensively, "And I'm ready too. I'll be there in a few."

I could hear her sigh of relief, "Good! See you soon." We hung up.

After hugging my sister for the billionth time and thanking her for only the millionth, I tripped out of her room and just about landed flat on my face down the stairs.

"Slow down or you're going to kill yourself, Bell!" Rose yelled after me laughing.

I ran out the front door to my truck without looking at my mom, who was sitting in the living room watching Oprah, probably analyzing all of our lives. Once I threw myself into the cab of my truck, I flew it into reverse and as soon as I was clear of the driveway I put it into first gear just as fast and sped to Alice's.

On the way there, I had a realization. I loved my sister. I know it sounds silly, but I don't know if I ever really realized how much I appreciated her. I mean, sure, I wasn't lying when I said she was a pain in my ass and I know I am a pain in hers too. But she was always there when I needed her. This morning she could have laughed at me when I asked for her help and told me 'good luck with that, loser.' But she didn't. She even let me borrow some clothes that still had the freaking tags on them! I hoped we had that sisterly connection where she would know what I was feeling because I was loving and appreciating her so much the entire way to Alice's. I would have to do something special for her when I got home.

Alice tugged the door open before I could ring the bell and pulled me inside.

"It's about time you got here!" She said as she dragged across her humungous living room to the basement door.

"You're having the party in the basement?" I realized. I don't know why it came out as a question, but it did.

"No, I just want to show you our awesome furnace." Her tone was thick with sarcasm, "Of course it's down here! I'm not going to risk anyone doing anything stupid in the house with my parents gone."

"Good point."

I'd never really seen her basement before, so when I got down there I was shocked. I knew her parents had money and I'd seen the rest of the well kept, expensively decorated, large home. But their basement was amazing! It was an enormous open space, probably five times the size of my bedroom, decked out with a ping pong and pool table. The big screen TV had been pushed off into a smaller side room to make room for a massive stereo system, complete with assorted lights and a fog machine.

"Geez!" I gaped at the room.

Alice looked at me, worried, "What? Do you think it'll work? Is it big enough?"

I laughed, "You've got to be kidding me! This is awesome, Ali!"

Her concern disappeared, "Good. I'm glad to hear you say that." She pointed to a storm door on the far wall, "That goes to the side of the house where our patio and garden are."

"Where's Jasper? I thought he was helping too."

"He's getting drinks and food and stuff. But we have streamers, lights, and signs to put up still and we have to set up the bar." Alice scanned the room, going through her mental to-do list.

"Wait," I said nervously, "You're having alcohol here?"

"Hell, no!" She declared loudly, "It's going to be crazy enough without beer. We're putting the food and drinks on there."

I was a little more than relieved to hear of the party's dryness. But Alice didn't let me linger long. She quickly began skipping around, with tape and streamer in hand, while shouting orders at me on what to do. My job was to set up black lights all around the room and make sure they worked.

The door suddenly burst open.

"Jazzy!" Alice squealed, throwing the streamers out of her hands to run to the door.

Jasper stood at the door with his arms full of bags and bags of party supplies, "Hey, love, a little help?" Alice took a couple of the lighter bags from him and led him to the bar. "Hey, Bella! How's it goin'?" He smiled at me. I'd always liked Jasper. He was so sincere about everything and always made a point to make people feel happy, especially Alice.

"Hey, Jazz." I laughed, "What'd ya get?"

"Oh you know, the usual: chips, soda, and the exercise I get from carrying it all." He shrugged.

It didn't take that long to set everything up. Around four o'clock the three of us were staring at a room that would have been better suited for a New York City night club than a Forks, Washington basement. This was where my luck ended. Alice was no longer preoccupied and therefore was free to remember our bargain.

"Hey, baby," Alice cooed sweetly to Jasper, "You mind if Bells and I take a break? We'll be back in a bit."

He kissed her sweetly, "I'll still be here."

She wasted no time when we got upstairs. "So what do you want to drink while you tell me all about last night?" She said nonchalantly as she strolled into her large sunny kitchen.

"Coke." I said flatly.

The two cokes landed with a thud on the hardwood table, "Tell me everything." She said. So I told. Well, as much as I wanted to anyway. I left out Edward confiding in me about his friend. But I figured Alice would have enough of a good time trying to pick apart and gush over our amazing kiss. That kiss sent me over the edge and lifted me higher than I'd ever been before.

"Ohmigod, do you know how unbelievably romantic this all is?" Alice said dreamily, "What happened when he walked you home?" She pressed.

I'd almost forgotten about that….

_The black cold swarmed around us, but never penetrated the unparalleled warmth within me. I could hear the thudding of our footsteps on the uneven pavement and the ragged inhales of icy air. But what I was most aware of was him and that we were completely alone in this darkness._

"_Do you feel better or worse?" I blurted out._

_He looked at me with obvious confusion, "Huh?"_

"_I mean, now that you've talked about it. Now that I know. Do you feel better…or worse?" I clarified._

_Edward thought about my question for a long moment, "I don't know, actually. Both?"_

_I could feel the lines on my forehead fold, "Why both?"_

_Edward sighed, "I guess I feel better now that you know, but I feel selfish too."_

"_I don't think you're selfish." I argued._

"_Yes, I am." I could feel him looking at me, "I'm selfish for wanting you."_

_I stopped walking and stared at him. He turned to give me a puzzled look, like he completely believed what he just told me and was confused as to how I couldn't believe it too. Edward was the most unselfish person I'd ever known and I wanted him more than he knew. Did that make me selfish too? Yeah, probably._

"_What?" He was still wide-eyed._

_I closed in on him, never breaking his mesmerizing gaze, and wrapped my arms around his neck. I could feel him relax under my touch and like the lost searching for water in the Savannah we eagerly collided together. My lips found his for the second time tonight. I was floating, no, soaring with Edward and we weren't in this crappy little town of Forks anymore. We were in the sky._

_I painfully forced myself to pull away, "How did that make you feel? Selfish?"_

"_Surprised." He whispered through heavy breathing._

_I giggled nervously, "Why? You thought you were gay?" Unfortunately I joke when I'm nervous._

"_No," Edward tightened his hold on me and breathed in my ear, "I thought I was dead." When I didn't respond because I couldn't breathe, he continued to whisper huskily into my hair, "It's like I finally get what most people mean when they say 'starting from scratch.' I had nothing until you. Nothing to live for, nothing to die for." I felt little kisses on the side of my neck, "Bella, this is me starting from scratch with you."_


	10. Spiked

**Yeah, I know, absolutely unheard of. But I actually got a day off (no work, no school...sweet!!) and thanks to sometimestheycallmejackie, Brandtishot, designerchick85, and roguefaery I got a sudden spark of inspiration! So this one is for y'all - thank you guys!! _

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_**EPOV**_

Love was a funny word that not very many people know the true meaning of. I mean, I could say "I love my dog" or "I love burgers," but was that really what love was? Or was love something more than that? I didn't think I ever knew before last night. Wasn't love something you would die for, get up every morning for, breath and live for? Yeah, but I realized it was even more than _that._ There was something else to it that was impossible to describe. Love was a forceful enigma that would be forever ill-portrayed by Hollywood and poets. But I knew that I didn't love my dog (okay, I didn't have a dog. But if I did, trust me, it wouldn't be love) and I didn't love burgers. I loved Bella. I didn't know how I knew or why, but I just _knew _and I burned with it.

I was contemplating this when Tyler pulled up in front of my house to pick me up for the party.

_Beep-Beep…Beeeeeep!_

Good God, did he have to make so much noise?

Taking one quick look in the mirror to make sure I looked acceptable, I ran out of the house, yelling goodbyes to my parents as I left.

"Have fun, Edward!" My mother called to me.

"Remember what we talked about." I could hear my father's voice from the living room couch .

They didn't mind. I think they were just happy that I made some friends and I was going out. It didn't matter what they thought. I was going to see Bella.

"Hey, Tyler. Hi, Angela." I greeted as I energetically jumped in the back seat of Tyler's Nissan.

"Hey." Tyler grunted.

"Hey." Angela replied softly.

I could tell right away that something wasn't right between them.

"What's up?" I tried to keep a light mood as we spun out of my driveway.

"Nothing." They both said at the same time with the same angry, bored monotone.

Right. Well. This was going to be awkward. Tyler cranked up some rap music I didn't recognize, prohibiting any speaking for the rest of the ride to Alice's house. I felt like we were going quite a bit over the speed limit, which normally wouldn't bother me…if I were driving. But our driver seemed to be in a mad rage. I wondered what happened. I have to admit that I'd never been through a real break up before, so I wouldn't know much about all the semantics. But don't people usually get pissed _after_ the breakup? Angela and Tyler were still dating with "rough patches" Bella said to me one time.

Unfortunately, this gave me time to actually remember what my father told me. He'd come into my room a couple of hours ago…

"_Can I talk to you for a moment, son?" Carlisle's normally smooth voice turned rough and serious._

_I shrugged, "Sure, what's up?"_

_We sat in the living room with the television turned on to the Discovery Channel. As if it were hard to tell, the Cullen family is all about education. I never minded. I think I would have preferred that channel anyway._

_Carlisle sat heavily on the couch next to the lazyboy chair I was sitting in._

"_It's about this party you're going to." He sat forward, elbows on his knees. I'd grown accustomed to this position the past year. It was his 'fatherly-talk' position, the one where he feels the need to give me advice I already knew._

"_Dad, I already told you where it is. Tyler and Angela are picking me up in a couple of hours."_

"_It's not about that." He waved it off, "But I wanted to be sure that there will be no drinking there."_

_I could feel the blood rush from my face. I knew where this was coming from and I knew that if I hadn't had a problem with drinking before, this wouldn't be an issue._

"_No, there's not going to be any drinking." I said flatly._

"_Are you sure?" He pressed._

_I glared at him a little too harshly, "I know Alice. She wouldn't have alcohol at her party. And if anyone did bring it, she would kick them out. So, you see, there's no possibility of there being alcohol at this party."_

_Carlisle broke eye contact with me to concentrate on his folded hands and nodded thoughtfully, "Okay then. I just want you to be aware of your boundaries, Edward. I'm not sure if my career can get away with it again if something happened."_

_Again, I knew what he was talking about. It was infuriating._

"_I'm not an alcoholic." I growled._

_I should have tried harder to control my anger, he was my father and only cared about me. But he also cared about his career. When I got to the hospital after the Accident, they wanted to test me for alcohol consumption. Somehow, the test was taken and came back clean. I later found out that Carlisle had taken the test for me. Same blood type, no booze. He'd saved me from not only being tens of thousands of dollars in debt to the city, but he'd also saved me from some much deserved jail time._

"_I know you're not an alcoholic, son, but everyone has their limits. Now, you know I trust you. But we all make mistakes…"_

The conversation didn't continue. One thing I loved about my dad was he knew how to say the bare essentials and stop when he was done. There was no 'beating-around-the-bush' with him.

When we arrived at Alice's house, I was shocking. It was more like a mansion and I wondered how they built such a giant house in such a small town.

"Eddie!" Alice squealed with a confusing amount of excitement when she answered her door. Her spiky black hair seemed to bounce with her.

"Hey, Alice." I smiled politely at her. I liked her a lot, but her enthusiasm was a bit overpowering sometimes.

"Bella's in the kitchen." She winked at me before taking Tyler and Angela down to the basement. Great, now she can deal with their tension.

"Thanks." I said and hoped I wouldn't get lost on my search for the kitchen.

It wasn't too hard to find, but all the doorways reminded me of a maze. On top of that, everything was white or shades of white. Creamy carpet, white walls, etcetera. The only splash of color was the various expensive paintings and family photo frames hung with precision on the walls. Remarkably I took all the right turns and found the kitchen.

Bella looked amazing. She was standing in front of a French glass door, letting the evening light caress her body and shimmer on her golden top. Curled chocolate brown hair spilled over her pale bare shoulders. I tried not to think about her bare skin. It only made me want to ravage her, not caring where we were.

"Hey." I think my voice cracked.

Bella nearly tripped over the heels she was wearing when she turned to me. Thankfully I wasn't very far away and helped steady her before she could fall. But having her in my arms really did not help my situation.

She giggled softly, "Hey." She looked up at me, rendering me almost speechless, "How are ya?"

I cleared my throat this time for good measure, "Good, you?"

Bella released one of her dazzling smiles on me, "Me too." She seemed to suddenly become nervous. "Um…Can I talk to you for a sec?"

I nodded, intrigued, "Sure. I've been wanting to talk to you too."

"After last night…" She bit her lower lip roughly, "I was wondering…"

"What is it?" I pushed.

"Well…I was wondering what happens now?"

I tilted my head in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"I mean…well…what are we to each other exactly? Are we like dating?" She concentrated on my eyes, looking for my answer before I said it.

I smiled at her seriousness and held back my bursting laughter, "What do you want to be, love? I will be whatever you decide."

"I don't know. I want to date you, but I feel like we're…" Bella hesitated again and took a deep breath, "…more."

My smile brightened and I didn't fight the urge to kiss her, "I would never doubt that we are more than that. But we have time to figure out the correct term for it later, because I don't think that there is one in the English language."

"'Kay…" I could feel her smile as she kissed me one…two…three more times.

"Shall we?" I pulled away before I'd lost all control over myself.

She nodded, smiling, and she led me down to the basement. There were only a few people there, awkwardly drinking soda and standing around in defined groups.

"Come on, I want to introduce you to someone!" Bella tugged at my hand, which I had unconsciously intertwined with hers.

She led me to Alice, who was sitting on top of a beautiful mahogany bar and talking to a guy. She was obviously flirting with him, laughing ecstatically, lightly touching his hand or arm.

"Jasper, I wanted you to meet Edward!" Bella interrupted their moment.

Alice looked only slightly annoyed. Jasper turned to shake my hand, "Hey, man. How's it goin'?"

"Good." I said, shaking his hand.

All of a sudden, there seemed to be twenty more people inviting themselves into the massive basement. The music boomed loudly, lights were flashing and dancing, the air was suddenly filled with smoky chalk, and a few people started to scream excitedly.

"This is more like it, Ali!" Someone screamed from the other side of the room.

"That's my queue to mingle!" Alice jumped off of the bar, "Bells, come with me." She grabbed Bella's hand and jerked her with more strength that I would have thought she was capable of towards the crowd.

"Uh, okay." She said, giving me a pleading look.

I shrugged helplessly as I watched them disappear into the sea of bodies.

Jasper and I gave each other a knowing look that said…_girls_. We laughed.

"So-ah…you and Bells?" He asked curiously right before he stuffed a handful of chips in his mouth.

I nodded, "Yeah…you and Alice?" I raised an eyebrow.

He chuckled, "Yeah." Shrugged, "I'm stuck with her for life."

"Stuck?"

A wide grin spread over his face, "Yeah, that girl just won't let me go. I tried to escape a couple of times," another shrug, "but it's no use. She keeps on reeling me back in." We laughed.

Something ran into me from behind and I had to grasp the bar for support. A heavy arm fell on my shoulders.

"Yo, dude, Eddie, ya gotta go out there, man." Tyler yelled in my ear, "There are some fiiiiiiine ladies dancin'!"

"Where's Angela?" I peered at him.

Jasper shook his head at Tyler, "Dude. Not cool."

"Pfsh!" Tyler spate at Jasper, "What do you know, punk?"

"Have you been drinking?" I could smell the alcohol on his breath now.

"Nho." He breathed on me.

A blistering thought hit me, "I'm going to find Bella." I told Jasper and slipped from under Tyler's arm to face the sweating dancers.

It was difficult to get through them. Where did all these people come from? There must have been at least fifty more people than there was five minutes ago. Some were swaying, others flailing their limbs uncontrollably. It felt like a city rave the way the bodies were smashed against each other, letting little room to actually move against it. It reminded me vaguely of a giant mosh pit, one of the one's you don't want to trip into for fear you would be pummeled. Somehow I was slowly making through them in the direction I thought Bella and Alice went.

"Don't touch me, freak!" Bella's shrill cry pierced my senses but seemed to have no affect on the dancers.

My adrenaline flowed. Was someone hurting her? I had to find her _now_! I searched fiercely in the direction of her voice.

A masculine yell rumbled in pain, "You little bitch!"

I finally caught sight of them as I bulldozed through the rest of the sawyers and launched myself at a fuming, drunk Mike.

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**OUCH! I know, I feel the pain of this cliffy for you...No worries, midterms are over and I'm down to only two jobs now so I should have a lot more time to write. Love you guys!! (Oh and please review...I'm pouting...puppy-dog look...I know you guys are super-awesome, but it would be an act of showing your awesomeness hehe)**


	11. Fight

**YAY!! I seriously love you guys, that's the most reviews I've gotten since chapter five (seven)! Hmmm...Are y'all prepared to break the record? It would be SWEET make me super happy!**

**Alright, so this is definately one of my shortest chapters, but by far the most kick ass! Enjoy!**

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_**Bella's POV**_

Alice dragged me off into the crowd of people and I instantly hated it. So many people crammed together like that was just downright uncomfortable. We were pushed and elbowed until we got to the people she wanted to mingle with. It was just my luck that they were smack dab in the middle of all the commotion. Alice knew a lot more people than I did. She had lived in Seattle for a while before moving to Forks and still kept in contact with all of her friends there. Most of the people at the party seemed to be from the city. It was an odd mix with the Forks High School kids, like toothpaste and orange juice.

Squeals filled my ears as Ali was reunited with her friends. There was a quick introduction as she told me names I would never remember of people I would never see again before they went into an all-out catch-up session.

"Hey, baby." A rough, harsh voice breathed on the back of my ear. I knew that voice. I _smelled_ that voice. It was fucking repulsing.

I spun around, eyes wide with fear. Sure enough, Mike was standing right in front of me. He was dressed nicely, hair spiked. He actually would have looked good if it weren't for the fact that I knew who he was and what he was capable of. His bloodshot eyes smiled menacingly at me.

"What?" He feigned innocence, "Ya can't have a party without me, sexy, and you should know that."

I tried to hide the fact that I had started shaking. Mike was nothing. Why should I be scared of _him_? "Go home, Mike." I sneered as I turned back to Alice, who was deeply intrigued by one of her friend's stories about new guys they'd met.

Mike painfully dug his hand into my shoulder to spin me back around. I reached for Alice and barely grazed her arm to get her attention before I was forced to face Mike again. In a split second her face went from confusion to horror as she realized what was happening.

"Leave her alone!" She glared at him with such intensity _I_ was almost afraid of her.

"Mind your own business, cunt." He replied, never leaving my eyes. I was violated just by his stare. I heard Ali tell one of her friends to go find Edward and Jasper as fast as they could, "You're still mine." His voice was dripping with disgusting slime. Before I realized it, he'd pulled me tight against him and was groping my breast.

"Don't touch me, freak!" I screamed at him as my hand flew to his face. My nails dug into his cheek, leaving a trail of oozing, bright red blood across it.

"You little bitch!" He yelled.

Edward sprinted from the crowd in a blinding rage and crashed into Mike. They both fell into oblivious dancers. Everyone surrounding us stopped dancing and stared at the two men colliding onto the hard basement floor, both struggling to be the first to stand and have the advantage.

_**Edward's POV**_

As soon as we hit the floor, the wind was knocked out of me, forcing me to gasp for air. I couldn't ignore the dull pain that accumulated in my back and shoulder that I had landed on, but that didn't stop me from making sure I was standing before Mike. I'd never had a history of fighting, but instinctively I knew what to do. He would be lucky to be alive after I was done with him. Adrenaline pushed my strength to an entirely new level and made me murderously livid.

He was quickly trying to stand, but as soon as he was half-way up, my fist met his face and he was down again. I didn't think Alice would have been very appreciative if I'd gotten Mike's blood on her carpet, so I decided on a different location. He was clutching his nose in pain when I bent down and grabbed his shirt to drag him outside, but he wouldn't have any of that.

Mike was on his feet instantly, jumping back to gain his bearings. Blood was not only making its way down his cheek from claw marks, but it was also pouring from his nose.

"Outside," I growled loudly, "NOW!"

_**Bella's POV**_

The night air pricked my skin. Everyone was outside so fast, I don't think I would have had a choice but to let them push and pull me that way along with Edward and Mike. Once out the door I was found by Alice and Jasper.

Ali wrapped her tiny arms around me, "Oh, sweetie!" She tried to comfort me.

Jasper's rough hand landed on my shoulder, "Are you okay, Bella?" He was breathing hard, looking strong and ready for a fight.

"I'm fine. But Jasper you have to stop this or help Edward or….something! I have to do something!" I nearly screamed in frustration.

Jasper shook his head slowly, "I don't think that's a good idea, Bells. I'll be here if Edward needs me, but he needs to do this on his own so Mike knows who to respect."

"I don't give a fuck about respect!" I was crying, tears streamed down my face. If Edward got hurt I could never forgive myself.

"If Mike respects Edward, then maybe he won't give you guys a problem anymore." He pressed the issue into my skull. I understood what he said, but I didn't care. This was more between me and Mike than anyone else. I didn't want Edward to be involved, especially on my account.

Then I saw them, glaring at each other like alpha male lions in the same cage. Edward was swift to pull his shirt over his head, revealing his amazing, defined muscles that had only been hinted at before. He looked powerful, fierce, and a little frightening. The confidence on his face told me he would not lose. But I wasn't convinced he would not be hurt.

Mike got rid of his shirt in the same fashion and showed how well-matched they were. I wanted to claw his eyes out. I probably would have if Edward let me have the chance.

They started their dance around the outside of the ring of onlookers surrounding them…

_**Edward's POV**_

My body was heated, letting me ignore the blistering winter wind. I never broke my opponent's sadistic stare.

We circled each other from far away at first, but got closer and closer, starting the countdown to blood. I didn't see anyone else but him, though I could feel Bella nearby. My only wish was that she was not there, watching. It didn't make me nervous by any means, just the opposite, it fueled the violent fire inside me. But I never wanted her to see me like this: driven by animalistic ferocity, losing control of anything truly human and civilized. I let my instincts take over.

My senses were acute now. I smelled the wet blood, still dripping from Mike's face. I saw how heavily beaded his forehead was with sweat. I heard our footsteps, in synch with each other, on the crisp, crunchy grass. I felt every muscle in my body, tense, eager, ready.

"You're going down, mama's boy." Mike hissed at me, spitting red saliva on the grass.

I shook my head lowly, hunched, ready for the attack, and smiled over bared teeth, "Not before I hear you scream like the little girl you are, bitch."

Mike bellowed as he charged me. I sidestepped him and let him fall to the ground beside me with an _oompf_.

I head myself laugh, "Not very fast, are ya?" He jumped up, continued our staring contest, and wiped the mud off his face.

"Maybe, but I'm stronger than your scrawny ass."

"Prove it."

We charged, crashing together with all our strength. He was strong, but so was I. Gripping the other's shoulders and arms, we were at a standstill. I felt him heave against my force with no affect. I grounded myself firmly, unable to be budged.

Then, Mike made a crucial mistake. He lifted his right knee in an attempt to injure my manhood, leaving his left leg vulnerable. I swiftly pushed him back, letting my right foot trip his left on his way down.

I was on top of him as soon as he was on the ground and got one punch in before he fought back. All I could feel was his bony fingers splicing my lips and cheek. I don't know how it happened but he was on top of me, throwing hit after hit on my face, chest, and ribs. I didn't feel any pain, it only made me angry.

I roared and whipped my clenched hand to the side of his head. He seemed stunned for a moment, but that was all I needed. I heaved him onto his back once more and straddled him, pinning him down, as I mindlessly punched him over and over and over again. Warm blood spattered my chest and face and saturated my fists.

I don't know how long I was punching him before someone finally dragged me off of his limp body. Someone else ran to him and checked his pulse.

"Just unconscious," they said, "he'll be fine." I was disappointed.

_**Bella's POV**_

I ran to Edward as soon as Jasper pulled him off of Mike. He struggled a little bit, still trying to throw a few more hits in before he was completely out of range. But Jasper held his own and steadily moved him back so he could regain his self control.

Edward was still bearing his teeth, but the lashing had subsided after only a second. His beautiful bronze hair was matted with mud, grass, and drying blood. He looked wild.

"Edward!" My vision blurred with tears, making me almost trip again on the unsteady ground.

His eyes softened when he looked at me, "Bella…" He sounded almost surprised, and very dazed.

When I reached him, I buried my face in his bloody, sweaty, chest and let myself cry. It was my fault that Mike even showed up to Alice's party. It was because of me Edward felt the need to fight him. I was the one who caused him to bleed, even though I never threw the punch.

"Bella…" I could feel the vibrations in his chest when he spoke, "Bella…love, why are you crying?"

I looked up at his bruised and bleeding face in disbelief, "You're hurt!"

He smiled at me through his split lip, "No, I'm not. I'm fine." His face turned concerned, "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head, "No, he didn't hurt me. But, Edward, you're bleeding." I reached to touch the sticky cut running over his eyebrow, along the hot gash on his cheek, to his swelling split lip. It would scar.

"Not much." He protested with a shrug.

"I'm taking you to the hospital." I told him decisively as I took his hand and prepared to drag him there myself.

Edward smiled, "I don't need to go to the hospital, Bella."

I glared at him, "Stop being such a guy and just do what I say."

He pulled me back to him letting his strong, naked arms wrap around me, held me close to his heated body, "I'd rather have you nursing me back to health. Besides, do you know what they feed those people in the hospital? Absolutely revolting."

I laughed through my tears. Why was I smiling? I shouldn't have been smiling. He was infuriating and stubborn and obstinate and frustrating and…I loved him.


	12. We Have All Night

**Hey glad to hear you guys liked Edward kicking ass! I was completely estatic to see that we more than broke the record in reviews, I got nine!! Hehe I'm easily excited. But do you guys think y'all can break that record? Hmmm I guess we'll find out. Well I'm off to buy my Halloween costume (I'm gunna be a pirate!! Arrrrg!)**

**Oh and I want to say thank you to Lindsay for giving me the most awesome review (if you had an account I would have messaged you)! I love you!!**

**Enjoy!**

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_**Edward's POV**_

After the fight, the crowd was in absolute chaos. Some stayed outside, raving about the excitement, and others went back inside to finish their dancing session. I was congratulated and pat of the back by people I didn't know even after Mike was granted a ride to the emergency room where I only prayed my father wasn't called in to help him. But it was more like a dream than anything else. The only thing real in my world at that moment was Bella and she was very determined to take care of me.

Bella insisted that I leave my shirt off so it wouldn't be stained by the drying blood on my chest and then she took my sore hand and led me into the upstairs bathroom in Alice's house. I followed, never taking my eyes off of her, without hesitation. She could have led me to my death and I wouldn't have cared.

"Sit." She commanded as she shut the bathroom door behind us.

I sat on the lid of the toilet and watched her as she raided the medicine cabinet and drawers for rubbing alcohol and Band-Aids among other things. Bella looked so sexy with that serious, concerned look on her face. She was frantic and nervous and maybe a little flustered. I think it was the fact that those emotions were because of me that made it so endearing.

Bella's hands were flying through moisturizers and brushes and finally found the antibacterial ointment. Her face was the most gorgeous combination of flushed pale and brilliant pink as if she were scared and embarrassed at the same time. I grabbed her hand to stop her rush for a moment.

"Hey, slow down." I gave her my best crooked smile in hopes to calm her a little from whatever she was worried about, "There's no rush. We have all night." I only wanted to remind her that there was no need to hurry, but in the process I also reminded myself of a different aspect of that idea and felt a fresh wave of excitement of having all night with Bella. I was tempted to keep her in this bathroom for that entire time. I internally laughed at myself. It was way too early to be thinking like that. Besides I wouldn't know the first thing to do even if I did lock us in here.

Bella stopped everything that she was doing and finally looked at me as she smiled sheepishly, "I know." A cleansing sigh escaped her.

"What's wrong?" I still held her hand in mine.

She stepped closer beside me and lowered herself into a sitting position on her knees. "I don't know." She confessed, "I guess that tonight didn't turn out quite how I was expecting." Her face dropped.

I nodded as I leaned forward, resting my elbows sharply on my knees, "Me either..." I reached out and touched her warm cheek, "But you know the night's not quite over yet."

Bella's cheek grew hot under my fingers and another smile blessed her lips, "Yeah, I know. I just thought that after all of that you would want to go home. I mean…it must have been tiring."

The chuckle that came from my throat couldn't be stopped, "Bella, I'm not tired and I definitely don't want to go home yet."

Bella nodded, "Okay…Let's get you cleaned up then."

She jumped up to retrieve a washcloth and then proceeded to soak it with hot water. The cloth twisted in her hand, discarding the excess water, and was ready. She turned to me awkwardly as if she didn't know what to do with the cloth that was dripping in her hands.

I smiled at her, "What should I do, Doctor Swan?" I teased.

Her nervous smile was greeted a second later by more blushing as she kneeled in front of me, our faces only inches away from each other. "Close your eyes," She whispered anxiously, "and stay still."

I did as she told me and closed my eyes. I felt the heat of the washcloth before it touched my face. With my eyes closed, my other senses became increasingly sensitive. Bella's heavy breathing matched my own, her strawberry scent more enticing than ever, her soft touch at the base of my neck gifted goosebumps.

Hesitantly at first, she worked the washcloth down from my forehead to the side of my face. The hot water gradually turned cold as it trickled down my face and neck and raced across my bare chest. Her hand teasingly lingered around my neck. A couple times it wandered a little lower and mindlessly traced the top of my muscles or down my arm where her grip would tighten almost passionately. I think it was when she realized she was doing it that her hand shot right back up to its place on my inner shoulder. I didn't mind it at all. I never told her to stop because I didn't want her to. I loved the shivers I had to fight every time her hands wandered without her consent.

Finally, the washcloth decided it was done with my face for now and gently slid across my neck, wiping away any tiny spots of blood that decided to lay there. Suddenly, Bella's hands were gently pushing me back from my leaning position but stopped short.

"It might be better if you stand up." She breathed as I dared to open my eyes.

Bella's gaze was studying the rest of me with concentration, probably trying to figure out how best get the dirt and Mike's blood off. I nodded and stood for her. She rinsed the cloth till it was clean and was standing in front of me again, careful to not make eye contact. The newly warmed cloth heated my already burning body. This time, the tips of Bella's fingers placed themselves on my abdomen and stayed there.

When she was done, the cloth was rinsed again and the rubbing alcohol and cotton balls took its place in her hands. Bella told me to sit again, but I chose the cushy carpet to sit on in front of her instead. She told me to close my eyes again but I couldn't. I never wanted to look away from her. I really can't explain why I felt this way. Maybe it was the fervent silence, or that I was overly aware of her body close to mine, maybe the way she touched my skin, or her bare beauty in the soft light, or the fact that we were undeniably alone. I don't know, any of these, if not all, could be completely true. But the ending factor was that I just wanted Bella.

I lightly grazed her cheek and everything else stopped. I leaned into her and winced slightly from the pain in my ribs, but that didn't stop my lips from colliding with hers. A small moan came from the back of Bella's throat which only drove me further into the kiss. My hands led themselves down her slender neck to her shoulders.

Bella surprised me by not only showing just as much, if not more, demand as I did, but she pushed my shoulders until I was laying on my back and she was laying on top of me. I let my hands slide down her back, over her bra strap, and to her butt where her cell phone protruded from one of the pockets as she explored my chest all the way down to the edge of my pants belt. I felt myself harden and didn't even try to hide that detail.

"Bella…" I gasped, "I need to tell you something." Only God knew what I was going to do, but I figured now was as good a time as any.

She searched my face in confusion, "What is it?"

I grinned and rolled our bodies so that she was on her back this time and I placed myself gently on top of her.

"It's just that…" I tried to gather my racing thoughts, "Well I've been thinking about this a lot recently and…uh…"

"Just spit it out." Bella advised breathlessly.

My grin widened, "I'm in love with you, Isabella Marie Swan. I am undoubtedly, irrevocably, blissfully in love with you."

At first Bella was wide-eyed and had stopped breathing. I waited nervously. What if she didn't feel the same? I mean, didn't we just declare us dating earlier today? Maybe I was moving too fast, but I wasn't the kind of person to keep a feeling that strong inside of me, at least not for very long.

She finally started taking in shallow breaths. But when she started talking, her voice was nervous and soft, "Edward…I…" This time I'd stopped breathing, "I am whatever-you-said in love with you too." Her grin was infectious, especially when she started shaking with laughter, "I have been since…" another laugh, "I don't know when…forever! Edward, I think I was in love with you before I met you. "

I chuckled at her and buried my face in the side of her pulsing neck for a moment to let everything sink in. But then I decided I didn't care, I just wanted to kiss her again. So I did, with her hands now roaming my backside this time and me holding her tight, feeling the soft fabric of her shirt.

"Ya know, it hardly seems fair." Bella whispered to me as I started kissing her neck.

I groaned, "What doesn't seem fair?" I could hardly pay attention to her while I made my way to her shoulder.

"That I have more clothes on than you do." She said very matter-of-factly.

She had my undivided attention now. I stopped my kisses and turned to see her watching me with an impish grin on her face.

"This situation can only be justified by you, my love." My eyes searched hers, "I'm not going to push you to do anything you don't want to. In fact, if you don't want to then I definitely don't want to. But that's not to say I don't want to…" We both knew I was rambling when she placed her finger on my lips.

Bella laughed at me, "I want to."

I nodded slowly, "I want you to stop me if this goes too far, okay?"

She agreed feverishly as we crashed into each other again. It didn't take long for her to work her shirt off and throw it into the bathtub. The heat off of her skin felt amazing. I lowered myself down to her so we could feel our bare skin against each other. I moaned half for the pure joy of feeling her beneath me and half because I was frustrated as hell.

I have to admit that I'd never gone even this far with a girl before. I'd never even wanted a girl to take her shirt off. But with Bella, everything felt so natural, so right. With her in my arms, making the sexiest sounds I'd ever heard, kissing me with more passion than I'd ever felt in my life, I was falling apart at the seams. Honestly, I think I would have proposed to her right then and there if I'd happened to have a ring with me.

Bella's hands were knotted in my unruly hair, urging my lips to move with hers in greater desperation. I brushed the smooth sides of her ribs before beginning to play with her bra strap. It slid easily off of her shoulder, revealing the very top of her breast. It was enough to send me over the edge.

Untangling one of her hands from my hair, Bella's fingers lightly skimmed slowly down to my belt. I could feel her parting the top on my pants cautiously, nervously. I was so hard that the length of me was practically out of my jeans anyway. Her shaking fingers touched the very tip of me. At that moment I knew I was going to lose control.

I folded down the cup of her bra, exposing a perfectly full breast. I nibbled, kissed and sucked as she continued to grow more confident inside my jeans.

"Oh God…Bella…" I groaned in pleasure.

"Edward…" She gasped, "I love you so much."

_Bzzzzz….bzzzzz….bzzzzz…bzzzzzz!_ We froze suddenly as something beneath us vibrated.

"What the-" I exclaimed, startled.

I looked up to Bella in confusion. Her face was contorted in anger and frustration.

"It's my phone." She hissed. "I don't want to answer it." She complained.

_Bzzzzz….bzzzzz…bzzzzzz….bzzzzz!_

I rested my head on her warm stomach and looked up at her from between her breasts. "We have all night, love." I reminded her again, "Go ahead. I don't mind. Besides, if it's Alice, I'd rather she _not_ come looking for us." I winked at her.

Bella smiled at me brilliantly and reached for her phone. When she looked at the caller I.D. I could see the confusion on her face before she put the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" She asked.

I only heard muffled sounds coming from the other end. It sounded like someone was crying and screaming.

"What do you mean?" Bella gritted her teeth at the same time her eyes widened with terror.

More screaming and sobbing, "No, Heidi, just tell me where you are."

The caller, evidently named Heidi, calmed herself to tell Bella where she was.

"Yes, I know where that is. Now when was the last time you saw her?" Bella bit her lower lip to try to stop the tears from streaming further down her cheeks. I quickly wiped them away and watched her intently to try to find out what was going on. It killed me to know I couldn't read minds.

"No, she wouldn't go there. Have you called Emmett?" Bella replied and waited for a moment, "Fine. J-Just stay there, call Emmett and I'll meet you there."

"What's going on?" I asked her, concerned, the instant she shut her phone.

After a couple deep breaths Bella replied, "Rosalie went to Seattle for a girl's night out. That was Heidi, the friend that she went with." She sat up, as did I, and stared into my eyes, "She said that Rosalie's gone missing."

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**Don't worry, the wont get inturrupted next time! Review please?! I'm not used to writing almost lemons (needless to say real lemons) so if you don't review I'll think I've done a horrible job and writing it...and then I don't know how the real lemon's going to turn out (which btw is not very far away!)**


	13. Better Off Dead

**Hey, y'all! First of all I wanted to let you guys know that I've set up AIM so if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions (I'm definately in need of suggestions!) I would really appreciate it! Check out my profile for the screenames and such.**

**Thank you to all the awesome comments on chapter 12 -- I was so excited!**

**This chapter is a little different, but I hope that it is nevertheless good! Let me know what you think!**

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_**Rosalie's POV**_

The beat vibrated through the core of my chest and legs. This was _my_ scene. The city, lights, people, dancing, music. It all made my heart cry out in the most pleasurable way. Emmett knew this about me and let me fill my desire in the only way I knew how: girl's nights and raves. He never understood why I needed this, why I needed the time to be free of the little Hell called Forks, to break away from the chains of small-minded townsfolk who live for juicy gossip. But it wasn't just the vacation from Forks that I longed for, it was the freedom. Out in the city, it would be like I'd never left Phoenix. I would be with the people _I_ wanted to be with, doing whatever the hell _I_ wanted to do without worrying what people were going to say the next day. I mean, it wasn't like I was cheating on Emmett or anything. Far from it. In fact, whenever I got home from one of these trips we would have one of the hottest nights we'd ever had that would promise to keep me daydreaming about him for the next three days. It was the break from each other, the mystery…I don't know, maybe it was just the reminder of who we were as individuals that made us fall in love with each other all over again.

Standing in the heat of the rhythmic tremors, sweat threatening the small of my back, I can guarantee I was not thinking about Forks or the reasons I hated its short streets and miniature buildings. I was in a trance brought on by the entire pulsating atmosphere of the rave and the bitter-sweet taste of a dry martini that still rested on my tongue.

My blond friend standing next to me suddenly twitched.

"He's hot." Heidi yelled over the music and to my ear.

I followed her pointed finger to a young man, probably around our age. He seemed like the tall, dark, silent type. Very mysterious. Not my type at all. Emmett was short for a guy, blonde, and wonderfully not silent. This man was dressed nicely in jeans and a designer shirt. But there was something else about him that kept me looking. He seemed…too innocent to be at a place like this that was swimming in alcohol and laced with LSD. With the face of someone who has never taken a sip of alcohol, he stood just beyond the lights watching the dancers grind and sway. I was fascinated.

"Yeah, he is." I finally shouted back at Heidi, "You should go talk to him."

She laughed, "Maybe. He seems shy." I could hear her devilish smirk. She'd always liked the shy guys.

His big childlike eyes flicked in our direction as if he knew we were talking about him. I felt an unexpected chill, but not the kind that makes you happy. It was the chill of danger. It seemed ridiculous at the time, completely stupid of me, Rosalie Swan, to fear a sweet looking young man like that. I tried my best to ignore the suspicion that clawed at my spine.

"You have to come with me!" Heidi squealed, "Just to break the ice." She was practically jumping with excitement.

I agreed as I feigned my regular courage and brazenness. I swear he was grinning wildly before we ever even stopped in front of him. My friend was the first to speak up in her seductive tone.

"What's a sexy guy like you not dancing?" Heidi flirted as she nonchalantly touched his large, tanned arm.

His smile was genuinely ravenous as his eager eyes leisurely absorbed us from our flashy high heels to our long, silky hair. Heidi and I were very similar in almost every way possible. We were blond, tall, slender, and unbelievably shameless. She and I were the type of people who, in middle school, would always pick the excitement of dare instead of the safeness of truth at sleepovers. Tonight we were wearing our little butt skirts and cleavage shirts. We looked amazing, if I do say so myself…and, trust me, others have said it too. But his look wasn't one of adoration and awe as most had been that night, but was more lustful and hungry.

"Just waiting for the right girl." His deep, musical voice immediately smacked me. The resonance of his voice was silken, laced with Sicilian origin to give it an exotic quality. The contrast between his beautiful voice and the ravenous expression that now marred the sweet face he had only a moment ago was, as it seemed, only obvious to me. Heidi on the other hand, seemed to have been taken back only by the fact that he had a nice voice. Sometimes I wondered if we were too shallow.

"What's your name?" I prompted. It seemed like Heidi was for a loss for words for once in her life.

"Demetri." He said proudly with a soft roll of the "r" while slightly puffing his chest, "And who do I have the pleasure of speaking to?"

Heidi and I spoke with Demetri for only a few minutes before I decided it was my queue to leave them alone. To be frank, I was more than relieved to leave Demetri and I had no concrete evidence to back up my sudden wariness of him. Everything he said to us was polite in an old fashioned sort of way. But it was the acidly desirous gaze I caught him giving me every little bit when Heidi was laughing at something he said that made my stomach twist in its disgust. I would only be in the bathroom for a couple of minutes and then I would be back to keep my eye on them. My friend gave me a grateful look for giving her some time alone with her prey. I wasn't sure if he was the prey anymore. Regardless, she knew how to take care of herself for a short amount of time anyway.

The bathrooms were completely disgusting. The floor's edges were coated in black mildew that framed the little stained tiles that had to have been white at one point in time. I tried not to think of where the stains originated. There was a mirror that stretched for almost the entire length of a wall, cracked with pieces missing; it reflected the blue broken doors of the stalls. I chose one and did my best to close the swinging door and keep it closed. I was just glad that no one else was in the bathroom. It would get packed later when the liquor made its way through all the partiers.

The squealing hinges of the door leading back out into the thumping music, echoed off the hard walls. But that wasn't what caught my attention. I'd expected the sharp click of high heels to lead themselves into one of the stalls. Instead, I heard the hard thud of men's loafers. I have to say, I wasn't terribly surprised. Drunken men often find it impossible to read signs. Of course, sober men do too, but that's another whole issue I won't get into.

It wasn't until I stepped out of the stall that my pulse began to race and nausea threatened my stomach. Leaned against the wall, smug and leering, was Demetri. I decided it wasn't best for him to know I was somehow afraid of him as I sauntered to a sink that hadn't been washed since possibly last year to clean up.

"I think you're a little confused, Demetri." I tried to smirk in his direction, "The men's bathroom is next door."

"I wasn't looking for the men's bathroom." The sudden roughness of his romantic accent made my hands shake as I dried them on the grainy paper towel, "But thank you for letting me know."

I faced him after throwing the paper towel away, hands on hips and chin held high. "Then why have you decided to grace the ladies bathroom with your presence?" I didn't hide the sneer that forced my upper lip to curl up in repulsion nor my obviously snide tone.

"Thought you'd like to have some fun." He shrugged.

I laughed humorlessly, "Really? Too bad for you I'm taken." I eyed him violently, "Anyway, Heidi's the one who was all over you two minutes ago. Not me." I reminded him a little too harshly. "And we don't like to be confused with one another."

Demetri grinned as he looked at me through his long eyelashes, "Being taken doesn't usually mean anything." He shrugged, "Besides, I like my game to be a _challenge_, not willing."

My eyebrow rose defensively, "Well, it means something to me. So go find somewhere else to put your dick in. I saw that the bar had some mini beer bottles that would probably be about your size." I scoffed as I tried to talk past him quickly and out the door.

I didn't even see or hear him flash to my side and wrap his large hand around the back of my neck. He squeezed behind my ears. I'd never felt anything like it before, excruciating pain and numbing blackness taking over my body at the same time. I wasn't in control anymore. I willed my legs to move, arms to flail…to move something! Nothing. My limbs went slack and wouldn't respond. I tried to force the air from my lungs to escape through my gaping mouth to scream. Silence. The only sound was his rapid hot breath on my cheek.

"I don't like beer." I heard Demetri spit in my ear.

The bathroom faded slowly. First, everything was a brilliant red and then fizzled into black. It was like I was watching a television show with really bad signal and it all of a sudden turned to white snow before everything shutting down. My eyelids fell and wouldn't open again. I knew I was going to pass out, but I didn't completely. Though I couldn't move or talk, I could hazily feel and hear everything going on around me. My body went completely limp and I was surprised when I did not fall to the cold tile floor. Demetri wrapped my arm around his broad shoulders to steady me and dragged us out of the bathroom.

It felt like the music and voices were very far away, as if I were listening to them from over a cell phone. The tops of my feet scrapped against the harsh concrete floor as Demetri effortlessly balanced the rest of my body. I barely heard the squealing bathroom door as it swung closed behind us.

I was tugged and jerked through an endless maze of talking dancers, most too lost in their mindless chatter to look at me. My sagging head bobbed up, down, and side to side as we passed them.

"Whoa! Dude!" Someone sounding like they would be more suited to the waves of Malibu than a Washington rave exclaimed, "Is she okay, man? Need help?"

A pause of movement.

"No, it's okay. She just had a little too much to drink." Demetri sounded concerned as he let his rich accent pour out in charm, "I've got to take her home now. But thanks."

The dragging continued until the tops of my feet hit pavement and my bare skin stung coldly by winter wind. Then I was off my feet and seized by Demetri's arms. I was warmed a little in a disgusting way and probably would have thrown up it I could have. I would have spat at him and clawed his face. This, above anything else, infuriated me. My maddened outrage came bubbling up from the inferno in my chest, grazing my throat, and rasping through my lips.

"Whaaa…"

A soft chuckle, "Ah, the princess is awake is she?" His ridicule was unbearable, "Don't worry, angel, everything will be over before ya know it." He comforted.

I internally lashed out, screamed, and thrashed at him as I slowly realized that my senses were becoming sharper. They were not the dull and muffled perceptions I'd had a few moments ago.

My finger twitched slightly. I froze.

There was no need for him to know I was coming out of his crappy attempt at knocking me out. I would wait till I had the advantage.

Demetri didn't carry me that long until he had stopped, shifted me into one arm, and pulled something that clacked out of his pants pocket. My eyes shot red twice from, what I assumed, was the taillights of an unlocking car.

He dumped my still limp body to the asphalt without much care and stepped over me towards the car. This was it, my chance.

I opened my heavy eyes. I was facing a very blurry black tire. Demetri was fumbling with his trunk key in his shaking hand. His white breath was puffed out quickly. But it was all so blurry, merely shadows within shadows of different colors.

Stiffly, I lifted my body as silently and swiftly as I possibly could. The rave's incessant thrumming was still loud, even out in the parking lot, which helped me rise to my feet and slip off both my heels undetected as I tried to identify objects around me. I knew Demetri was not far in front of me and his car was directly in front of him. That was all I needed to see. I clutched the heels so tightly my knuckles ached after only a second. I was furious. I borrowed my murderous eyes into the back of where his repulsive skull ought to be and took a deep breath.

_Pop._ The car's trunk whispered into the black.

I lifted one of my heels over my head and with all my strength plus a grunt I brought it back down over the dark haze I knew was him.

Only air.

_Shit!_

He spun around revealing the vague impression of his presumably shocked face. I was stunned. How had I missed? He was right _there_!

Demetri crossed the space between us in two long speedy steps and wrapped his large hand around my neck and squeezed. My breath became scarce and my heart pounded so loudly it drowned out the overbearing dance music.

"Don't." He growled through his teeth, "That will only bring you more pain. Do you understand?"

I summoned what air I had in my lungs, "Fuck…" I gasped, "…you."

My vision became even hazier than it was before. I was going to pass out again and braced myself for that knowledge.

He chuckled lightheartedly, "Yes," He moaned, "I knew you were the right choice. This is going to be fun."

Suddenly his hand dropped my throat and I collapsed to the sharp rocks. I sucked in burning air with difficulty and tried to lift myself again to my feet.

A giant fist crashed into the side of my skull.

I woke in darkness and stench. My muscles refused to move for me in account of the pain they were in. But I was whole. I had two legs savagely tied together; I could feel that one was broken. I had two arms that were awkwardly bound behind my back that connected to a few dislocated fingers on my left hand. It took me what seemed like a long time to figure out where I was. The duct tape over my chapped lips tore at the sides of my cheeks as I screamed softly in Demetri's trunk. The music of the rave was louder than ever. Wasn't anyone out there? Where was Heidi? Why wasn't she looking for me? My powerless screams faded into whispering sobs of terror. I didn't know what was going to happen to me. I didn't know why someone would do this. But most importantly, I didn't know if I was going to survive.

I grew exhausted and mentally delusional. I thought, _Maybe this is a dream. I don't really hurt. It's all a terrible dream._ My eyes became heavy, threatening to close. _If I go back to sleep, I will wake up in my own bed with my fluffy pillow. _I lay very still, not moving a muscle so I wouldn't feel the excruciating pain again. _Then I will listen to Bella snoring till I fall back asleep. And you know what? I'm going to have another dream…A better dream…I'll dream of Emmett…_The duct tape stretched my skin tightly around my weak smile. _There will be no better dream. I'll be in his big, warm arms, kissing his sweet lips. Then I'll make him cook me something to eat._ Tears ran hot over my nose and to the side of my face. _Emmett makes the best omelets. I'll have one with everything in it. And when I'm done eating, he'll hold me again and never let me go. No matter what, he'll never loosen his grip on me. Even if a hurricane tore through his apartment and tried to rip us apart, it wouldn't work. Nothing would separate us because I would be with him forever and ever…_

"Bella?!" I heard a voice not far from the locked trunk cry. It sounded like a voice from another life. I knew it was Heidi.

_Emmett…_

"Bella, I can't find Rose!" Heidi shouted again. I wanted to tell her to shut up and let me dream. But my brutal reality pushed my dream aside and forced me to be conscious of the situation again.

I was confused as to what I should do at first. I stared, wide-eyed into the darkness. I knew I had to get her attention.

I screamed as loud at my lungs and duct tape would let me, I tried to move my body in a way that would move the car or make some sort of sound.

The best I could do was not much more that a scratchy whisper and some barely noticeable, but regardless agonizing, knee jerks.

"What do you mean, what do I _mean_?!" Heidi shrieked. She was close. "I mean she's fucking _gone_! Should I walk around to try to find her?! I don't know what to do!"

_I'm here! Right here!_

Her voice faded as she walked away.

I couldn't breathe. I wanted to gasp for air but it wasn't enough. I wanted to shout, scream, punch my way out of the black. Instead I thought about Emmett. The love of my life, the reason for my sanity. My eyes closed on their own accord this time.

_Emmett…I love you..._


End file.
